In the Interest of Fairness

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

I thought it only fair, given what I said previously about discipline, that I post one of my own less than perfect Mommy moments. This happened a few weeks ago. I posted this story on another site during the Carnival (I wish I could remember which one!). Entrants were asked to post their best/worst Super or Slacker Mommy story and I chose Slacker. Enjoy.

I took DS to the bookstore and used a gift card given to my DH to buy him 5 new chapter books. He was literally jumping off the furniture and I had to tear him away from the train table to look at titles with me.
Then we went to the shoe store where I had to practically sit on him to keep him from running up and down the aisles, trying on the high heels and rolling on the floor.
After, we pull into the driveway and I ask him to go straight inside and start getting ready for bed since it was past bedtime. Immediate whining ensues about not having watched any TV, and wanting more to eat for dinner (mind you we've been gone for almost 2 hours and it's almost 9 o'clock).

I get mad, tell him he's being a brat after all the stuff I just bought him and so much for being able to stay out late like a big kid because I won't let him do it again if this is how he's going to act (we've been working on Attitude of Gratitude).

Cross go the arms, out go the lips, in comes the attitude and he says he's not going inside and he's not going to bed. EVER. Humph. So, I say goodnight, get out of the car, set the alarm and go inside the house to count to 30.

At 10, the car alarm goes off.

I go back outside and he's climbed into the passenger seat. I let him out and he's got tears and snot and DH comes up to see what all the commotion is and DS tells him "Mama locked me in the car and I was so scared I wanted to throw up. I could have died in there!"
Of course I gave him a hug and told him I would never have left him in the car overnight and that he wasn't going to die any time soon, especially not in our driveway.

We'd had a lot going on with playdates, going to the park, having people over for dinner and the Wii (which DS isn't allowed to play because of his poor sportsmanship and tendency to pee himself rather than pause the game but we made exceptions when we had company) and it pissed me off that after all the fun stuff he would behave like that, especially over going to sleep!

I'm sure I could have handled it better but c'mon. He said he wasn't getting out. He might as well have drawn a line down his car seat and said, "I double dog dare you to get me out of this car." And I love a challenge.

So. There it is. My own bad mommy moment.


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I've Been Bitten

Monday, April 28, 2008

By the shopping bug that is. I really like to shop. I mean REALLY. I could probably buy something every day. Clothes, shoes, purses, books, pretty things for our house. Even groceries. I love looking through the racks/stacks/bins. Clearance? Bring it!

Alas, since I am on holiday, I have had to curtail my spending in favor of essentials like, oh, food and gas. But, I can still look!
The Carnival has exposed me to so many great sites (you people are tres crafty!)

I thought I'd let you see some of the things I want need am obsessing over would like to have right now, both from the Carnival and in general:

  • Glass jewelry from Amy Burhoe. I may have to send this link to hubby for Mother's Day.
  • Boxed cards from Mariella Designs. Always nice to have on hand.
  • A pretty teacup and saucer by Sentou for breakfast on the patio.
  • Mommy Calling cards from Sophie and Spice. They just speak to me.
  • This T-shirt from SuperMaggie.
  • More re-usable shopping bags, but cuter than the ones I have from Target.
  • This Sigg water bottle.
  • These to die for sandals from Charles David.
  • This dress, this dress and this tank top from Old Navy.
  • A pendant from The Broken Plate.
  • Sugar scrub from Archipelago Botanicals.
  • More of these crafts for my son. It's hard to find things for boys! Everything I see in Wal Mart is knitting, sparkly and just all around girly. I bought him the airplane from the clearance section at Target.
  • A Wii Fit. I'm convinced my life will be perfect once I have one.
  • A new digital camera like this. Mine is a brick like the first cell phones.
I found some of this stuff while surfing through PinkPurpleandOrange.com. What a great site! I can (and did) spend a lot of time there. I added them to my Google Reader and will definitely go there to look for gifts and such. Much thanks to them! Anyone else have visions of shopping bags dancing in their heads?

Drum Roll Please!

Sunday, April 27, 2008

The fat lady has sung. What a week! I feel like vampire from all my late nights and have the luggage under my eyes to prove it.

Before I get to the good stuff, I wanted to thank everyone again for stopping in. You've made a newbie very happy!

I've taken your comments and suggestions to heart and am looking into ways to make the site pop. I start a web design class tomorrow night so who knows, I could be creating something myself!


With that, congratulations to poster #14, Lucy! I sent Lucy an email this morning.

Here's what Lucy said:

  • "I second the color suggestion! Pick something that is you! Good luck figuring out a new career/job."
Thank you for the well wishes on the job front. I have an interview tomorrow! I hope to see some of you again.

I'll definitely be part of the next Carnival. This was too much fun to pass up. Oh, I did win something from Heather at Desperately Seeking Sanity. Check out her site, she's got a great sense of humor. She's one of the many I added to my Google Reader.

I have a birthday party to go to and dinner guests coming tonight. Enjoy your Sunday!


Here are your random numbers:
14

Timestamp: 2008-04-27 07:03:31 UTC

I Want to Play Too! $10 GC to Toys R Us COMMENTS ARE NOW CLOSED

Friday, April 25, 2008

I know I'm beyond fashionably late but I wasn't sure I wanted to participate. I changed my mind for a few reasons:

1) I think it would be neat to see the Carnival reach 1,000 posts

2) I'm curious to know how many of you have hung in till the end and what type of response I'll get. I don't have much content on this site since I'm a newbie but I'd love some feedback.

3) I've had so much fun and have been so impressed with everyone's generosity I want to pay it forward.
I wish I could give more, but being on holiday and all...

So, please leave a comment with your blog name or email address so I can get in touch with you. I'd love for you to stick around and get to know me but my feelings won't be hurt if you don't (well maybe a little).
US residents only.

Winner chosen through a random number generator. I'll have comments open until midnight Pacific time tomorrow (Saturday 4/25). I know it's short but we have things happening Sunday and I don't want to over commit myself and leave you hanging and the Carnival is almost over anyway. I will email the winner who then has until Tuesday 4/28 to respond.

There's still plenty of fun to be had at the Carnival. Get thyself to entering before time is up!

I Got Chills!

Thursday is the BEST night on TV! Tell me you watched Lost?! Holy cow that show never ceases to amaze and stump me. More questions than answers I tell you. And Grey's Anatomy! Don't get me started. When Dr. Yang said, "intestines in the hand!" I literally got goose pimply and had to get a blanket.

The only way to make Thursday night better would be to bump up Lost and Grey's by an hour so I could watch ER "live" rather than on the computer later. But that's just MHO.

Some days I feel like a total TV junkie and it makes me feel guilty a little. The shows I watch are on after kiddo goes to bed, but still. There's just so much good stuff I can't help myself!

Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged (Matthew 7)

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

First, I will say that I am not perfect and that DS doesn't get to wear his halo all the time. I know being a parent is hard and I know we should all be supportive rather than point and whisper behind one another's backs.

But, what can I say? I'm judgmental and opinionated. At least I'm honest.


I was reading the May '08 issue of Parenting magazine one morning over coffee and came across a short, funny excerpt from Stephanie Wilder-Taylor's new book Naptime is the New Happy Hour.

"Ever been around a parent who starts off every sentence by whining, 'He won't let me'- as in, he won't let me put him down, cut his toenails, mix a martini, etc.? Um, last time I checked, you outweigh him by at least a hundred pounds. Man up."

I laughed because 1) I agree wholeheartedly and 2) it reminded of something that happened at the outlet mall last week. I was in one of the kid stores looking for a birthday present. When I first walked in, I noticed a mom and her toddler girl. I'm guessing she was 3. Said girl was getting a talking to about the display mannequins that went something like this:

Mommy: No, no. We can't play with that. See the nice lady over there (points to store employee)? She's working very hard on these to make them look nice and we don't want to mess them up.

Girl: Mmphf mmp scherpy (couldn't understand her with the pacifier in her mouth. what? I already said I'm judgmental)

Mommy: Now put the dolly back.

I browsed for a bit then went back to a cute outfit in the front of the store. Girl still had the mannequin, and was sitting in the front window undressing it. Mommy was choosing to ignore her and hoping no one would say anything looking through the racks but then her friend in the back of the store called out for her to come back and take a look at something.

More eavesdropping by me:

Mommy: Come on honey follow me.

Girl: No response

Mommy: Sweetie come here please, put that down.

Girl: Crickets chirping

Mommy: Put the dolly down and come with me.

Girl: Makes eyes contact, totally blows Mommy off

Mommy to Friend: Just leave it there, she's not coming with me and I don't want to leave her here.

WT? By now I'm ready to take "dolly," get right in Girl's face and tell her to straighten up or there will be no organic, agave sweetened soy treats for you when you get home missy!

Come on folks. It's time for real discipline to make a comeback. I'm not talking about going out in the yard and cutting a switch, but stop negotiating. Say no, mean no, and move on.

I've read the same articles as you have about behavior and positive reinforcement and not focusing on the negative to better your child's self esteem. Most of that is horse pucky. My parents didn't sit me down and make "I statements" when I misbehaved, they told me (not asked me) to knock that s**t off or else (I'm paraphrasing).

Saying no and being negative all day long is a drag. I feel you. But bending over for your kids may make today go by more smoothly, but what about tomorrow and next week? IMHO, If Mommy doesn't let Girl know right now who's in charge, they're in for a heap of trouble later on.

I can see it now: Girl and my DS meet at school. She's a sophomore, he's a senior and he's tutoring her in Algebra 2.I invite her to stay for dinner and she takes one look at my starchy, carby meal and says, "like, I can't eat this, " and I'll have to bitch slap her.

Granted, maybe I caught Mommy on a bad day. But I don't think so. Feel free to follow me and DS around and post anything you might see or hear on your own blog.

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I'm So Inspired!

Monday, April 21, 2008

Give me a minute while I uncross my eyes and stretch my fingers.

Whew! I am no longer a Carnival Virgin! I spent almost the entire day visiting sites through the Bloggy Giveaways Carnival. What an awesome idea! And it lasts a whole week! And it's free! And it happens several times a year!

I think I'll have blisters tomorrow from all the posting I did today. (Don't tell DH, he thinks I was looking for a job)


There are so many fun, smart, and clever people out there who are funny, passionate, creative... I could keep listing adjectives until the sun comes up.

I "met" lots of great people and I've bookmarked so many new blog sites I'm surprised my computer hasn't caught on fire.

I've read recipes, book lists, fashion tips, blogging how to's and so much more. I'm blown away by the breadth of topics and the clever ways people personalize their sites.

Of course I hope to win some of the really cool prizes but more than that, I'm so happy to add on to my group of internet friends and really hope some of my new discoveries lead to long lasting friendships.

If you're new to this or just want to add on to your blog roll, definitely grab some snacks and a cup o' joe and be prepared spend some time (hours!) at the Carnival. You won't regret it. Thanks to everyone!

The Downsides of Mommyhood

Sunday, April 20, 2008

I love my son. I love being a mom. I love my son. I love being a mom. I love my son. I love being a mom.

You know what gets to me the most about being a parent? The repetition. I can handle meltdowns, the non stop chatter, bedtime battles and fussy eating habits.

But having to repeat myself all day long makes we want to stick a fork in my eye.

Yesterday I took DS to a birthday party at Leo Carrillo. He had a great time following the peacocks and when we got home he was totally wound up. I, on the other hand, could barely keep my eyes open.

DH woke up around 3am with a bad cough and neither of us could get back to sleep, so by mid afternoon I was draggin' ass. Anyway, DS is on a mission to save Princess Leia which requires him to throw himself on the floor firing over his shoulder like a stunt double.

Every time he lands it sounds like we're hosting a martial arts demonstration in our living room. First I ask nicely to either keep it down or go downstairs to his room and make all the noise he wants. Then I ask again. And again. And again.

Finally I lose it and start yelling and I've given this speech so many times I might as well record it so next time I can keep reading my book and just hit play.

Repeating myself over and over sucks. Plain and simple. And there are days when it seems it's all I do. You know the drill: Why are you still in pajamas? Finish your breakfast! Brush your teeth! Get your shoes on! Where's your backpack? What do you mean you still need to brush your teeth?!

Why don't they listen?!?!


Deep breath. OK, I'm better now.

I know ignoring him or just going to another room myself would be easier. But that's not the point. If I did that, he wouldn't take me seriously and then I'd be one of those parents with that kid.

And, I guess the bad days make the good ones where I ask DS to do something and he says, "OK Mama" and actually does it the first time that much sweeter.

Lesson learned.


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New addition to the family

Sunday, April 13, 2008

No! Not that kind of addition! That's a topic for another day. We bought a pool table. In the spirit of Family Togetherness and Banning the Boob Tube. At least that's what I told DH when I started looking for a used one on Craigslist. The real reason? So my husband might actually spend some more time with me.


Hello, My name is One La Costa Mom and I am a WoW Widow. For those of you who don't know what that means, count your blessings. It's World of Warcraft, an online fantasy game my DH has played for about 2 years. I hate it. I wish it had never crossed our threshold. I should have put my foot down and said "oh hail no," but I didn't.

Why? For the same reason most women don't/can't say no. We want everyone to be happy even if it means we aren't. We want people to like us. And, if I had said how I felt, then I would be the bitch who never lets her husband have any fun. Everyone needs down time, I get that. I just wish his didn't involve hours at the computer with those stupid headphones on.

A good friend has put a ban on those types of games and her hubby only get to play when she's not around and one his other friends comes over with a laptop. When K found out my DH plays he got down on his knees and bowed saying "you're my idol, how did you get her to let you play?" DH just smiled and said it was no big deal, and I just smiled too. Appearance is everything.

So, I started emailing hubby links to tables I found and he jumped in with both feet. He got up super early yesterday and had to make 2 trips to get all the pieces home. We put it together in the afternoon and we all played together later in the evening.

Self serving? Maybe. Manipulative? Okay, a little. But we played together for about an hour after DS went to bed. DH gave me hug, thanked me for coming up with such a wonderful idea, then we really put the table to good use.
Wink wink. See? Everybody's happy.
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Sunshine Tax be damned!

Friday, April 11, 2008

What an absolutely beautiful day! It's days and weather like this that make the high cost of living here worth it. Yesterday, after I dropped the kidling off at school I went for a walk. One of the best things about being on holiday (much better sounding than unemployed) is that I've been able to make exercise a priority. Well, at least more of a priority than it was before!

Today I went to my usual route at the beach between Canon and Tamarack. I've managed to go out three times this week. Hurray for me! Since I've been home I've lost a little weight. Not as much as I'd like or need to lose, but I'll take it. Came home, had brunch in the sun on the patio and did the job search thing. Nada.

While I was out today I had my usual thought of
who are all these people and why aren't they at work? I mean, I know why I'm at the beach at 10am on a Friday, but what's everyone else's story? Most are the obvious surfers and retirees. Then there are the other SAHM's with their strollers. But, some of the familiar faces I see I can't really pinpoint.

It got to bothering me so much that finally I just asked someone. A man and his so adorable you could eat it Chocolate Lab puppy were usually parked in the same spot and he didn't mind me cooing all over her. I introduced myself and he said that he, like me, was in the real estate industry and things were a bit slow. Aha. We exchanged sob stories and I went on my way.

I wonder how many of us there are? People from my former industry I mean. I met another mom this past Wednesday in the get your life together section of the book store. She's also been out of work since the end of last year. Maybe I can form some kind of networking support group. Or maybe not since all those other people are the same ones competing with me for a job!


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12:20am... I guess I'll go to bed

I knew this web thing would come in handy. Just finished watching ER (finally the new shows are coming back!) and today's Ellen on the TiVo. That break dancing kid was amazing. He's only 6! Mine is 5 and still not tying his own shoes. Did anyone notice Linda Cardellini's (Nurse Sam on ER) arms when she and John Stamos (Dr.Gates) were hooking up? Is it me or were her biceps fabulous? I went to IMDB... she's younger than me... sigh... Whatever.

I should be at Costco

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Well. Now that I'm sitting here, I'm not sure why I thought I could do this, or even why I should. But, you know how there are times when your brain just won't stop? That's pretty much how I am all the time so I thought this would be a good place to go at 1:00am when I can't sleep, need to vent, am totally bored or any combination thereof. I took a shower hours ago with the intention of getting errands done before the rest of the family returns, but once again I got sucked into the web and now for some reason think I can write my own blog.

I have no clue what I'm doing, but that's OK,right? I mean this is just random chatter from a displaced at-home-and-love-it-but-need-to-pay-the-mortgage mom of one living in southern California. I'm not a writer, I just have a lot to say. Whether it's worth reading has yet to be determined. So, with that I think I'll head off to Costco. We have kindergarten Open House/Book Fair/Parent Teacher Meetings tonight and nothing to eat for dinner.

 
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