From the Cute Things My Kid Says Files: Never Have, Never Will

Wednesday, January 13, 2010


Scene: The family decides to relax in the neighborhood jacuzzi before dinner. The son, who had been splashing in the pool, is told to come into the jacuzzi if he'd like to warm up before the walk home. The son, who is 7 going on 17, has of late perfected eye rolling, sarcasm and the ability to convey to his parents he feels they know absolutely nothing at all with just one word. Son get in the jacuzzi and makes the following announcement.


Son: I had to partner with K again at school today. She's so annoying.

Mother: What did you have to partner up for?

Son: Some math thing.

Father: Why do you say she's annoying?

Son: She just is.

[Mother and Father exchange a look, complete with raised eyebrows]

Father: Is K cute?

Son: [looks horror stricken] Nooo-wuh! 
(Translation: Whatever. It's like you don't even know me! And? You're old.)

Mother: Well, who do you think is cute at school?

Son: I don't think anyone is cute. Never have, never will.
[Mother breathes a sigh of relief]

Scene

*That's not K in the picture. It's actually Deb's daughter.

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