I wasn't going to lace up my sneakers today. They're in the corner of my room, kind of hidden next to my laundry basket so they're easy to overlook without feeling too guilty for neglecting my 3 Day training. But then, I read my friend Debbie's post about her breast exam this afternoon.

Now I'm scared and sad and angry and anxious and I want to DO SOMETHING, anything, to help. But, other than be a friend, there's not much I can do. Except walk.

While I walk I will say a prayer for everyone who will receive a phone call from their doctor, who is sitting in a chair with chemo pumping into their system, who has made the decision to have a prophylactic mastectomy, whose hair has fallen out for the first time, or whose family is preparing to say their goodbyes.

I will put on my sneakers today and I will walk this twitchy, nervous energy out and with each step I will send Debbie all the positive energy and love I can. I will thank her mother for raising such a beautiful person and take comfort in knowing her spirit will be with Debbie this afternoon. 

I love you, my friend.

Twelve

April 26, 1992

Phil-

Hi, hon. How are you? I'm fine. I miss you though. Tomorrow is our anniversary and I really wish we could spend it together, I don't think I ever fully realized what a major part of my life you are until I went away to school. I've met so many new people and I'm having a great time, but there's always a part of me that wishes you could be here with me all the time. 

There's always a part of me that really aches to see you. I can't wait until summer when we can spend every possible moment together. I hope the coming months are good ones for us. I'm sure they will be. I feel it in my heart. I love you very much. I miss you more and more each day.

Melanie

My heart was right. It's been good.

I love you.