Thursday, January 15, 2009

She May Never Speak to Me again After This

Have you ever been in a situation that reminded you of someone you know, at a totally inappropriate moment? That happened to me today when I thought about Bejewell.

I went for an ultrasound this morning (no, not that kind!). When I got into the exam room, the tech told me my doctor ordered two different scans, one abdominal and one v@ginal. Yippee! If you've never had an internal ultrasound, the wand is like a vibrat@r for newbies only not nearly as fun.


So, after the outside ultrasound, I had to use the loo so as not to pee on the table for the internal exam. I got undressed, stretched out, and the tech smeared me up. (Side note: sincere thanks to whomever designed the gel warmer thingy.) Despite being female and having the same ladyparts, she couldn't find the, um, entrance and I had to insert the wand myself. Yeah, I know!



I'm staring at the ceiling while the tech is moving the wand around. Left, right, up and down like a vajajay joystick. Despite having an empty bladder, my discomfort is growing and I'm sure my uterus and ovaries were all, "the hell?" And the more the tech stirs my innards the more pressure I feel until I'm scared I might toot. Which made me think of the "musical fruit" song from when we were kids, and that made me think of Beej.

Which? Totally made me want to laugh. But I couldn't because I was worried the muscle contractions would force the joystick out AND make me toot. So I had to try and hold in my laughter and gas at the same time which, let me tell you, was not easy.


Now that I have embarrassed myself and potentially lost a friend, it's your turn! Where have you been that made you think of someone even though the circumstances had zero to do with the person?

13 comments :

  1. Well, I must say, next time I have to have a vaginal ultrasounds I just may think of you, which would be weird, to say the least....

    ReplyDelete
  2. yep, if I ever have one I'll be thinking of you now...while desperately trying not to toot. Thanks a lot! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Bwahahahaaaa!!! Awesome, not the exam the comparison to Beej. Love ya Beej, but that is SO FUNNY!

    ReplyDelete
  4. You are going to have way too many people thinking of you when they have those vibrator ultrasounds. I know I will, LOL!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm with Bejewell on this one - speechless. :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Mel, I've given you a bloggy prize (although Bejewell might want to take it away right now). Come on over to get your prize.

    ReplyDelete
  7. The things women have to put up. LOL!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I have had the "joy" of that experience myself. I usually do it on mammogram day. What fun!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hahaha! Oh dear. I am glad my gyno knows where the thing goes...

    Hilarious post! I just discovered your blog today, and this was the first post I read. What a welcome word! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  10. I am laughing still at this one. I have had these every time I was pregnant, well, with the last two babies. The first time I saw that thing I also thought...what the heck is that and where are you....oh, oh, ok?! A warning would have been great. Anyway girl, you rock, too funny.

    ReplyDelete
  11. wow. i am without words... though giggling like a little kid!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Now that was funny! I won't fully disclose when I sometimes think of people at the most strange time... but it has to do with the bedroom...

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for visiting and letting me know your thoughts!

  © Free Blogger Templates Joy by Ourblogtemplates.com 2008

Back to TOP   

Web Analytics
Blogging tips