Neediness and Accolades

Monday, March 22, 2010

I've said before that external validation matters to me. I know it shouldn't, but it does. It's a hurdle I face almost daily. It's not necessarily what other people think of me, or whether they like me, but more about whether I'm noticed. That sounds incredibly egotistical but I don't mean it to be. When I say noticed, I guess I actually mean "do I matter."

Does it matter to anyone that I did two loads of laundry today? Does it matter that I got caught up on my emails? Has anyone noticed the bathroom sinks are clean? That I made the bed? I went to the store for orange juice, milk and bread so we wouldn't run out. Etc. etc. etc. 

It's needy and insecure. I know that. I wasn't this bad before I became a SAHM (at least I don't think so). When I was working, I could expect feedback from my co-workers and bosses. Good or bad, at the end of the day, I knew where I stood. 

Now that I'm home, I still need that feedback. When I get a, "the house looks great," or "hey, key lime yogurt, thanks mom!" I know that what I've done and the time I've taken to do it, has been noticed. The same goes for this blog. For the most part, I'm OK with the traffic and lack of comments. I have to earn those. 

But it's so nice to be recognized by your peers, and even better when those peers are some of the best in their fields. I put a lot of effort into this site. I think about it more than I should. It's so nice to have someone say that what I do here matters.

I want to thank the people from InflunceSD for the recognition. It means a lot to me and I can say with all honesty it's an honor just to be nominated. I'm in excellent company too, which makes it even sweeter.

Thank you!


  1. Hip, hip, hooray!! Congrats Melanie.

  2. Congrats, Melanie!

    And a very interesting and thoughtful post. Makes me consider how I feel a similar way at times.

  3. I feel the same way many days. I am totally in need of accolades and pats on the back! Congrats on the nomination Mel. I voted for ya! :-) xoxo

  4. Okay, you and Deb have been hanging out again, haven't you?!? (Methinks I see a pattern here ...)

    CONGRATULATIONS, Mel -- you SO deserve the recognition!

  5. What a great just echoed some of the things that I felt when I was a stay at home Mom. I had a great time at the #gno twitter party - and will try to join in again next time! I am now an e-mail subscriber. :)

  6. Wow, fab honor!

    And even better - real words. I might have to steal this premise for an upcoming post about my outrageous [secret] ego. I go through most of my day thinking about being noticed...

  7. @Michele and @Bejewell Thanks, ladies!

    @Breanne Thank you. The need for validation is pretty human, but men don't think that way!

    @MamaMary Thanks!

    @MommyPie Are we that obvious?

    @Melissa Thanks so much for subscribing, I'm flattered!

    @Stephanie I'll be looking for that post!


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