I haven't talked here about having another baby too often, but it's been a topic of conversation for a few years. Whenever Phil and I have talk about it, the discussion disintegrated into a mini argument. We'd go around in circles not really getting anywhere. The baby talk has brought up a lot of issues. Some are things that have always been speed bumps in our marriage that flare up every few years but there have also been a few new things that have developed since I've started getting serious about the blog.

It's been frustrating for both us of not being on the same page. In the end I think we both raised the white flag and agreed to permanently disagree. Phil got a vasectomy three weeks ago. I called Deb the morning of the surgery and tried not to cry. Since then I've had good days and bad. I mentally go over the pros and cons and Phil and I still talk about the "what if's" and the "maybe's."

I don't know if this was the right decision for us and I may never know. I know we needed to get out of the limbo we've been in. This has been hanging over our heads since we bought our house (probably before). It's hard to be present in and love the life you do have when you're constantly wondering about the life you could have.

Happy Birthday Gramma!

The word grandmother often makes people think of home cooking and fresh baked pie. For me, when I think of my Gramma (or Nanna to Drama Kid) I think not of pie, but of pie dough.

When I was young, we could take the train from Chicago to St. Louis and we visited our family often. There weren't too many little kids in her neighborhood so Gramma came up with a way to keep me occupied. She would have a ball of pie dough wrapped in plastic waiting for me in the fridge. I'd play with that dough for hours then put it back in the fridge until later.

By the time our visit was over, that dough would be gray-black with dirt, specks and carpet fiber and I'm sure it looked horrible in her fridge next to the leftovers. But it made me happy. Which is all my Gramma has ever wanted to do.

Thanks, Gramma for the pie dough and putting up with my whining over the Hydrox versus Oreos and Vienna Beef over Ball Park Franks. Thanks for making all my friends jealous with my birthday/back to school wardrobe. Thank you for making my favorite breakfast every time I ask. Thank you for doing all the laundry when you visit and letting Drama Kid walk on your back.

Thanks for all the belly laughs we've had over the years and for being such a great Nanna. I love you Gram. Happy Birthday!
(dough photo from here)

Chicago Ink- Maybe

My girl crush Mr. Lady posted yesterday that a tattoo shop in Chicago is prepared to offer BlogHer attendees a discount and possibly a free drink or dinner during the conference weekend. I'm taking this as a sign. I've wanted to get a tattoo for awhile and I'm a finalist for a trip to Chicago! But... A few things are standing in my way.

I hate needles. Loathe needles. Abhor needles. Prolonged exposure to needles is my version of hell. Mr. Lady did volunteer to hold my hand, which would definitely help. Also, there's my scar to consider. I'm not sure I want to pay for a tattoo just to have it scar over. Speaking of paying for one, I don't exactly have a tattoo fund and saving for one is not the highest of priorities. And I have no idea what to get or where to put it. Details.

I've been thinking I should get something representative of the number three. We are going to be a family of three and three is a magic number (Schoolhouse Rock. Please tell me you remember?!). Since we're going to be a family of three (not ready to discuss, please don't ask) I think a permanent symbol of the power of three is fitting, no?

I've been looking online at different meanings, religious beliefs and cultural ideas about the number three and have liked a few:

*Three is the strong number in Taoist symbolism because it is the center point of equilibrium.

*Japanese: The Three Treasures are, Mirror, Sword and Jewel--that being Truth, Courage and Compassion.

*Africa Ashanti: the moon goddess is three people, two black, and one white. (I can fudge a little here I guess)

*Pythagorean three means completion. (Really like this, but not sure I want the symbol for Pi as a Tramp Stamp)

*The symbol of three is the triangle. Three interwoven circles or triangles can represent the indissoluble unity of the three persons of the trinity.

*Three is a moving forward of energy, overcoming duality, expression, manifestation and synthesis.

*Three is the first number to which the meaning "all" was given. It is The Triad, being the number of the whole as it contains the beginning, a middle and an end.

It seems that three is the way to go but I have no idea how to put those ideas into a piece of art. Do you have any ink? Did you have your tattoo drawn up by someone? If you have any ideas or suggestions for me I'm all ears!


Picture from here (man, I wish I could Photoshop like that!)

A Day in the Life at the Drama House

Mrs. G has asked that we share a typical day with you. Being an at home mom, many of my days are carbon copies of one another: lather, rinse repeat. And I'm OK with that.

I have my book club, my blogging group, my adopted soldier and The Bitches to help mix things up. And this past weekend I took a little trip to Orlando to meet some of my newest blog friends (more on that later).

My day starts fairly early.

After much grumbling and stalling we head upstairs.

I feed both animals, make lunch and it's back downstairs for the brushing of the teeth and hair, finding of the shoes and Star Wars Lego guys and then off to school.

Occasionally I get to walk Drama Kid into school to say goodbye and if I'm lucky I get a hug and kiss before he runs off.

After drop off I head down to the beach for my walk.


By the time I get to the beach it's about 9:15. I walk for distance not speed so I'm usually not home until close to 11:00. I have breakfast which is some combination of coffee, tea, chai latte, cereal or my oatmeal.


Then I shower and spend hours some time on the computer. I'll start laundry, load the dishwasher and try not to cringe every time I walk by Drama Kid's room.


After this it's errand time. I'm either at Costco, Henry's, Trader Joe's, getting gas, returning library books and/or movies, buying birthday presents or any of the other things that "someone" should be doing to keep the household running smoothly.


By now it's close to pick up time at school and the mad dash to make it to martial arts class somewhat on time (school lets out at 3:10, class starts at 3:30). I read and listen to my iPod.


Class ends at 4:20 then it's home for homework, a little play time, dinner and getting Drama Kid to bed. Writing it out makes it seem really boring. Sometimes I think I need MORE in my life but then I take a step back and realize I have everything I need, and lots of stuff I want and it really can't get any better than that.

Head over to Mr's G. for a list of other Day in the Life stories.

Firing Blanks

A few things have been weighing on my mind lately: faith/religion and my son's recent curiosity with our bi-racial family/skin color. I've been trying for several days to write something that is not a bunch of incomprehensible gobble de gook.

I thought I was being so clever today when I remembered the voice activated mini recorder we bought for our last nanny.

So, I take it in the car on my way to an oil change and car wash and talk for almost nine minutes about DS and what a boy at school said to him, the book I checked out from the library, I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla and what DS said about the new little boy in his class.

I talk and talk thinking I can transcribe everything and re-arrange it until it makes sense. Then I thought of one more point I wanted to make, and recorded over everything!

So now I've got nuttin'. Zip. Nada.