I'm sorry I've been absent. I've sat down at the computer several times this week and nothing I've tried to post has come out readable. Today I've been going back and forth between my mortgage company and the county tax office. I'm so frustrated and I cried a little while talking to either the third or fourth person, I can't remember.

Anyway, I needed a little pick me up. And I got one in my email. Disney offered me a scholarship to BlogHer! I'm so excited! Our mortgage situation has me a little stressed about the conference. I've wondered whether I should bow out, find a way to make it up to my sponsors and look ahead to next year. But now I have some breathing room.

The relationship I have with Disney is so important to me. I'm so happy to be a part of their blog family. Leanne and Laura, thank you so much. I'm so grateful!

Real

I lost two subscribers recently and it's been bugging the crap out of me, wondering what on earth I could have possibly said. The subscribers I lost came just after I posted about how hard the mornings can be getting Tyler to school and that sometimes he pushes my buttons so much he's thisclose to getting a spanking. I would be lying if I said that losing subscribers after I posted something so personal and 'real' doesn't sting a little. Maybe that's not why they left. Maybe I'm just getting really boring.

It's made me wonder though just how much of myself I can reveal here. The "real me" hasn't made too many appearances on this blog. I'm not really sure why. I'm not controversial on here even though I've got an opinion on everything. I've never dropped the F bomb here even though I do in real life because sometimes it's the perfect thing to say.

There's been a lot going on lately that it would be nice to air out, and get my thoughts and feelings in order. Some of it is still too raw to talk about, some of it I may never get to since it's about my marriage. I won't invade my husband's privacy. Knowing how many people say they like to read about the good and the bad, then losing two people after I share some of the bad gives me pause.

I've said before this blog is a work in progress. Hopefully I'll always feel that way because it means I'm continuing to learn and grow. If I ever get complacent that will be a sign that maybe it's time to walk away.. I left this comment on Angie's blog recently:

"Delurking to say I think everyone's blog goes through some sort of evolution. Our sites are what we need them to be, when we need them to be it. You can really tell who your friends are by the ones who stick with you through all the stages."

I guess I just want to say thanks to everyone who's stuck with me so far, and thanks to those who decide to stay should anymore of the "real me" decide to make a visit.