Wednesday, May 13, 2009

I lost two subscribers recently and it's been bugging the crap out of me, wondering what on earth I could have possibly said. The subscribers I lost came just after I posted about how hard the mornings can be getting Tyler to school and that sometimes he pushes my buttons so much he's thisclose to getting a spanking. I would be lying if I said that losing subscribers after I posted something so personal and 'real' doesn't sting a little. Maybe that's not why they left. Maybe I'm just getting really boring.

It's made me wonder though just how much of myself I can reveal here. The "real me" hasn't made too many appearances on this blog. I'm not really sure why. I'm not controversial on here even though I've got an opinion on
everything. I've never dropped the F bomb here even though I do in real life because sometimes it's the perfect thing to say.

There's been a lot going on lately that it would be nice to air out, and get my thoughts and feelings in order. Some of it is still too raw to talk about, some of it I may never get to since it's about my marriage. I won't invade my husband's privacy. Knowing how many people say they like to read about the good and the bad, then losing two people after I share some of the bad gives me pause.

I've said before this blog is a work in progress. Hopefully I'll always feel that way because it means I'm continuing to learn and grow. If I ever get complacent that will be a sign that maybe it's time to walk away.. I left this comment on Angie's blog recently:

"Delurking to say I think everyone's blog goes through some sort of evolution. Our sites are what we need them to be, when we need them to be it. You can really tell who your friends are by the ones who stick with you through all the stages."

I guess I just want to say thanks to everyone who's stuck with me so far, and thanks to those who decide to stay should anymore of the "real me" decide to make a visit.


  1. I'm getting more bold with my posts about the daily activities in my house. I have several posts in my head that I want to type out, but never do. I have a lot more people reading my blog now. I have a lot going on with my son, and sometimes I wish I could vent about it. The mornings are awful here. He's 3, almost 4.I can't imagine how it will be when he hits "real school".

    Sometimes I care about the followers, and sometimes I don't. I started my blog as something for me. Sort of a diary.

    I am also trying to walk the line of being a "mommy blogger". I don't want everything to be about my family, because I have much more of "ME" to share than those "people" I live with.

    You can slowly try easing in with more stories. People do appreciate the everyday type stuff.

  2. Mel, please don't be discouraged. You should feel free to share as much or as little of the "real" you that you want. I enjoy your blog posts. But, the important thing to remember is that as long as you enjoy writing those blog posts, that's all that matters.

  3. I agree, sometimes the "real" me wants to come out, to share something that has angered or hurt me - but my friends and family read it and I keep my blog light.
    But I'd like to vent or to share and I wish I could trade blogs.
    It's an idea! You can always blurt, share or vent and I'll post it anonymously.
    Trade-A-Blog. For fear of losing friends and family. Ha!

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  5. It's your blog .. blog for you and only you ! If they don't like what you write .. there are 10 mil other zombie mommy bloggers following the trend out there.

  6. I feel ya! it does sting when they opt out. I took ONE day off because of hubby being sick and lost 2 subscribers. Wow!! Are we that indispensable? The answer...yes. And it bites somethin fierce. I pondered this the whole next day! But you are worries, if they left then 2+ more will come.
    You have a great weekend!!

  7. I think I prefer to read about the real women behind these blogs rather than the fake women. I suppose you still have to filter some of what your write since once you put it out there it's there. If someone can't handle the pressure of who you are, screw them! :)

  8. Like any breakup, it may not be you: maybe it's them. I definitely have days where I simply don't have the bandwidth to take on anything else and my plate feels overloaded. So something's got to go: hour-long TV shows (although two 30 minute ones, strangely, seem fine), that book I checked out from the library that I KNOW just isn't going to get read, and yes, reading some blogs. Keep writing for you and trust that the ones who read & stay are the ones meant to, just like friendships.

  9. I understand how you feel losing a follower here or there, especially if it happens immediately after a post (regardless of its content). But then I just tell myself it's probably not personal. After all, I'll stop following a blog or will unsubscribe from email newsletters simply because I've lost interest or if I notice I'm spending time doing things that make me less effective. I mean really...when my email inbox if 90% RSS feed reminders/email newsletters and 10% client requests or things that drive my business...that's an imbalance that my checkbook always feels!

  10. I try not to check the stats very frequently because I wouldn't want to get obsessed with them--I'm like that.

    I really liked that post, but I am all about "keeping it real" when possible. Respecting other people's privacy is a fine line to walk.

  11. Do YOU, girl!

    Winks & Smiles,


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