Since I've been a work at home mom, I've had to redefine a lot things to fit our lifestyle and budget. When I had my office job, I would meet people for lunch, now I meet for coffee. I used to keep regular appointments to get my brows waxed, now I only go when I travel for blog related events. Manicures and pedicures are reserved for special occasions. Trips to the spa? Pretty much a thing of the past. I definitely had to re-think the way I defined 'me time' and being pampered. I know taking time for myself is important. I get really grouchy when I don't and then I make my family miserable.

Most women of color will tell you that getting their hair done is less a matter of vanity and more necessity because our hair can be pretty hard to take care of. In fact, before we married I told my husband that getting my hair done is and always will be a line item in our budget. He's never complained. I've learned the hard way what can happen when I don't visit a professional. There's a reason I will gladly drive 38 miles one way to see my stylist every 9 weeks. Because she's a miracle worker.

Even though I consider going to the salon a necessity, I still manage to turn the trip into a nice day out for myself. Before I get there, I usually stop for a smoothie or coffee. I bring a book, some magazines, snacks and my iPad. When I'm finished, me and my bouncy hair will try to meet up with a friend at My Happy Place for dessert at The Cheesecake Factory.

If no one is available to hang out, I spend some time window shopping at the mall and then popping into stores we don't have in my part of town. DSW, Loehmann's and Saks Off Fifth are some of my 'must visit' places. A few hours alone in the stores looking at new trends and scouting clearance racks is a great way for me to recharge my batteries.

As for being pampered, I'm lucky I get to feel that way all the time. I feel pampered when my husband opens doors for me, pulls out my chair or holds my coat open so I can slip it on. I feel pampered when my son opens the car door for me and kisses me good morning every day. Spa trips are great, but I will take these little endearments from my boys over a mud wrap any day. By adjusting my thinking a little bit, I realize I don't have to spend a lot of money or make a lot of effort to feel special.

This is post two in a series of sponsored posts and sweepstakes for the San Diego Honda Dealers Association. Visit and comment weekly for a chance to win Amazon gift cards!

Leaving On A Jet Plane

I just left the airport and my heart is breaking a little. Tyler is on his first vacation without us. Yes, he went with family, but it's not the same!

This feels like that moment where our kids stop being just our kids and truly become part of the world at large. I have a feeling Tyler will return from his two parent-free weeks away feeling more mature and responsible. He will, quite possibly, feel he does not need me as much anymore.

Of course, I know that's what we want for our kids. Confidence, street smarts, independence and having a good head on their shoulders are things parents work hard to instill in their kids.

But watching Tyler walk away, knowing he may come back a different kid, tore me up a little. He's growing up so fast. I thought I was ready, but this morning I decided I don't like it. Not one bit.

It's the Thought That Counts?

Since the roots are still attached, I have a sneaking suspicion these were pulled from the neighborhood landscaping.

Bloggers and Compensation: I Asked and They Blew Me Off

I'm still stewing over something so I'm hoping to write about it and move on. Back in April, I got a private message on Twitter from the marketing people behind an app I use. I had asked a question on their Facebook page, and, despite my not having my blog information on my personal Facebook page, they must have followed the internet rabbit trail back to this site. They said they would love to work with me and asked that I get in touch.


I sent an email saying I enjoy using their app and I'd be happy to work with them on sponsored content. I'm sure you can see where this is going. Crickets. I never heard from them again. Had I gone to them to ask how to get my client as one of their in-app ads, they would have responded with rates. Because they are a business. Well, guess what? So am I.

After I sent my email I jotted down some ideas to present to them beyond a general review that would have crossed all budget levels. I know this won't be the last time a company blows me off after I respond to their soft pitch with my rates, but it's still really disappointing. I used their app yesterday and today, which is probably why I'm still a little bitter. Who better to help a brand increase their social profile than its loyal users?


Now, I'm sure some of you are thinking, "maybe they don't have any money." It's possible, and it's something PR says all the time. But. I can pull up links to other posts about this app, and the links the writers used are all affiliate links. So there's money somewhere. Not responding to me at all was a bit unprofessional and it prevented us from being able to come up with an alternate form of compensation beyond a straight paycheck. While cash is king, I am open to other ideas if they make sense.


I think I've been pretty clear about how I want to work with brands. My About Me pages are the most visited on my site. But just in case, I copied the snippet below from my Policies and Procedures:


Sponsored Content: If your pitch involves 'sharing information with my readers,' be prepared to receive a response with my rates. Let's work together to create a program for your client/brand. Whether it's one post or an entire campaign across platforms (video, Pinterest, Facebook,Twitter), I want to help you create exposure for brands that fit my site.


Yes, I do make exceptions and this may have been a time I was willing to do so, but now I'll never know. Even though I used the app today, this situation has colored my opinion of them. I'm not sorry I mentioned money. They wanted me to provide a service (and use my trust capitol to provide that service); I told them the service came with a price. It's too bad, because I think we could have put together something really fun and I think it would have tied in nicely with the posts I've done before about the apps I like and the app board I have on Pinterest. I'm wondering if I should send one last email or just let it go.


Though this situation was a little discouraging, I'll be sticking to my guns when it comes to pay and sponsored content. Hopefully me maintaining my principles will attract the kinds of brands and businesses that see the value in what bloggers can provide. 

What about you: have you heard crickets when you mentioned your rates? How did you handle the situation? 

Photo credit freedigitalphotos.net