I'm so hungry! I had four more teeth pulled Friday and it's still hard for me to eat real food. Pudding, smashed bananas, cut up buttered noodles and peanut butter straight from the jar? No problem. An El Pollo Loco chicken bowl? Problem (please learn from my mistake and stick to the baby food).

While the pain is not nearly as bad as when I got my wisdom teeth out, it's still no walk in the park. And I've decided I have to write a letter to the corporate office. The policies they seem to have in place, which create a "turn 'em and burn 'em assembly line", are horrible for patient care and comfort.

Walking back to my chair before the procedure, there were bloody tools from previous patients lying in the open and the trash can in my cube was full of bloody gauze. I started to put my purse and book on the floor, and the guy getting me set up told me to put it on a chair instead "because the floor is pretty dirty." Cool, thanks. I'll hold my purse in my lap when I pee in a public restroom if the alternative is putting it on the floor.

But, when he started to ask me questions for the consent forms, he sat down in the chair and moved my stuff and put it on TOP of tools they were using in the next cube!!! So much for a sterile environment. And, again, when they were finished, they took me from my chair to the car via the storage room.

I like the people in the office. They're competent and are really good with kids and patient with my loathing of needles. I don't really blame them. But the money I've paid for two oral surgeries could (and probably did) finance a new car. I shouldn't have to bring my own blanket for cripes' sake!

And*, because my wonderful husband is at work allowing me to stay at home with Tyler, I can't take full advantage of the lovely pharmaceuticals provided for me. Half a Vicodin is like putting ice on blue balls, it helps but it's not what you really want. (thanks Deb!)

Anyhoo, I'm off to get ready for my trip on Wednesday (will the cabin pressure make gums explode?) and Google 'treatment for dry socket.'

*How many times can I start a sentence with and? And, is it really that hard and fast a grammatical rule?

(photo from here)

Getting Wisdom Teeth Removed Is No Fun

I'm in recovery hell. I hurt and will be going back to bed soon. I'm under the influence, sorry if this doesn't make sense.

I woke up early Saturday with my stomach growling. I'd tried to eat a big dinner Friday night, but I guess I danced it all off at The Belly Up. When I got to the office they were running behind. There was a sweet older couple in the lobby. They were speaking to each other really loudly and it gave the rest of us a chuckle.

Finally they call me back. I was hoping to be immediately greeted with a gas mask and then peeled off the floor. No such luck. While I'm waiting, the little old woman from the lobby goes under. She's in the chair to my left. I can't see but I can hear everything. I'm in the chair hungry, tired and nervous. She starts moaning and screaming.

They have to ask her repeatedly to keep her hands down and to breathe through her nose. Then the drilling starts. Sweet Baby Jesus the drilling! I fully expected to see the staff walking around in those hard hats with the protectors to keep the sparks off their faces. And the suction! Good lord it sounded like they were sucking off her whole face!

And all the while the beeping of the heart monitor she was attached to was so irregular, at times I was afraid a trip to dentist would turn into a Grey's Anatomy episode but without the McDoctors. It was awful! I was trying to relax and breathe but listening to her did nothing for my nerves*.

I was in the chair so long, her procedure ended and another person sat down. She was a teenager with her mom. She was crying and begging to be put under but her mom said no. Her mom told the hygienist that she had a friend who went under and is now permanently in a wheelchair and she didn't want her daughter to be put to sleep. Great. I hadn't even thought about paralyzation!

Finally, it's my turn and I can't wait for the drugs so I don't have to hear anymore. Once they gave me the sedative I didn't even have time to count back from 10 to 9. When I woke up, they hustled me right out the back through the storage room. I don't remember getting in the car or handing her the camera but my mom took this video (blood alert, consider yourself warned).



I put tea bags in my mouth to help the clotting. I've spent the weekend mostly in bed eating cut up noodles, smashed bananas, pudding and drinking microwaved smoothies (to take the chill off).

The doctor warned me that I may have small holes in my sinus cavities because the upper teeth were so impacted. And I think he was right. When I swish the mouth rinse my sinuses burn. Also, my glands are swelling. I'm waiting for the dentist's office to call me back. Infection? I'm going back to bed.

*I found out later that the woman is 96. They couldn't put her all the way under because it's too dangerous with someone her age. I feel bad for wishing she'd shut the hell up and get hold of herself.