I have a love, hate relationship with going green. I like knowing that we're using less resources and putting less chemicals into our bodies and the earth. It feels good to be less wasteful. But, let's face it being more responsible is often a choice between convenience, price and effort.

I started feeling so guilty about so many of the things we were buying, I knew we'd need to make changes. We are not the greenest household out there, but we're making progress and steadily adopting new habits with results I can actually measure. Here are a four environmentally products we've been using that have a made a difference in our house.

Vapur water bottles
I can't remember when I first saw someone using these bottles. They stuck with me and I bought two about mid way through the last school year. Since I bought them, I've almost completely cut out juice boxes and pouches. I fill these the night before school and add single serve flavored drink powder. In the morning, I put them in the freezer while we get ready for school.

They hold more liquid than a juice pouch so I know our son is staying hydrated and they double as an ice pack. This school year, I'm going to try cutting back even more. My plan is to not buy as many drink powder sticks and instead make pitchers of juice and refill. The Vapur bottles aren't super expensive but you will get mad if one doesn't make it home from school. I'm spending less on lunchbox items and drastically reducing our waste. We took them on our last trip Disney World and it was so nice to be able to refill cold water all day.

Reusable hemp coffee filters
We drink a lot of coffee. No really, a lot. Even though I was buying the brown, non-bleached filters, I felt bad about how many we go through. We were throwing away two filters a day at least six days a week. I looked for another solution and settled on a hemp filter. I bought one to start with to make sure we like it and will use it.

I was worried about mildew since it's cloth but buying additional filters and caring for them according to the directions should keep them mildew free. With more than one filter, we'll always have one clean, dry and ready to use. For heavy coffee drinking households like ours, I think 5-6 filters would be perfect. The coffee tastes the same as a paper filter. I bought ours from BonaFide Green Goods.

Copco reusable travel drink cups
I've talked about these before, but since I love them so, so much I'll talk about them again. I adore my Copco cups. They're permanent fixtures in my car. My husband uses one hot cup every day and we each have them when we know we're going to be at the ice rink for more than an hour. Last week, our family was in town camping at the beach. I took an iced coffee with me every day.

These cups last forever, they save at the coffee shop since sometimes they're considered a refill, they maintain the temperature better than the disposable cups, they make an affordable gift and since I always have Starbucks Via in my purse, I can make a drink whenever I want to.
Reusable produce bags
I had some credit on a daily deal site and bought these Essie produce bags about a year ago. They were another purchase born out of guilt. I hated bringing home the plastic bags since there's nothing else they can be used for. These bags are great. People stop me to ask where I got them.

An added bonus is buying more produce. I like using them so much I bring home more fruit and vegetables than I ever have before.

Those are just a few of the ways we've been greening up our lives. I'm always on the lookout for more small changes we can make. Being green is definitely a lifestyle choice and takes commitment. But, it's something we all need to do and sets a great example for our kids.

What are your favorite green products? 

This is post five in a series of sponsored posts and sweepstakes for the San Diego Honda Dealers Association. Visit and comment weekly for a chance to win Amazon gift cards! Some affiliate links used.

Hockey For Dummies | Wordless Wednesday

My Renewed Health and Fitness Resolutions

Hello, my name is Melanie and I no longer fit into my clothes. Over the past few weeks I've realized I'm no longer at a weight that is healthy for me. This year I've put fitness squarely on the bottom of my To Do list and now my bottom is paying the price.

The biggest thing I don't have in my life is training for the Breast Cancer 3 Day. I didn't realize just how much all the walking was keeping me fit. At my best, I could walk 10 miles in just under 3 hours. I may not be participating in the 3 Day but I need to pretend like I am. My health depends on it. There are three changes I need to make to get my weight under control and live a healthier lifestyle.

1. Buy ice skates
My son plays hockey. I am now team manager. I will be living at the ice rink this year. It makes sense for me to buy my own skates so I can jump on the ice during open sessions. Any exercise that requires maintaining  balance is great for developing core strength. Skating also helps work the thigh muscles. Muscle burns more energy than fat.

If your kids are into sports, use their practice time as your time, too. I remember my my mom and her friends used to walk the fields during my brother's soccer games. Fitness can happen anywhere. I need to stop making excuses and use my time more wisely.

2. Find a buddy
The 3 Day is in November. Generally, once our son heads back to school I'd join groups and train with others who were walking the event too. Having regularly scheduled sessions that I had to RSVP for before the slots filled up kept me accountable. Left to my own devices, I won't get as much exercise as I need to. If you're like me and need an extra push to stay motivated, finding a partner is the best way to make sure you will stick to a routine.

3. Drink more water
When I was training I had two refillable water bottles with me and would usually finish both. Now I drink my morning two cups of coffee and that's about it. Occasionally I'll drink something with dinner. That's not healthy. My skin looks terrible. My nails are weak. My hair is brittle. I put my 3 Day water bottles away since I'm not walking. It's time to break them out again.

I went to the store and stocked up on Crystal Light and other single serve drink powders. I know, I know. I should just use cucumber or lemon slices. But I know me and I won't do that. I don't like the taste. I used to feel guilty buying the powders, but if it's a choice between no water at all and zero calorie flavored powder? I'll choose the powder every time.

Sure, I'd love to fit into my size 6 jeans again, but it's about more than that. I'm creeping towards 40 and I'm starting to feel it. It's not as easy to lose weight as it was just two years ago. My metabolism has plummeted. If I'm going to get healthy again I have to make changes. Plus, I want to be an example for our son. We tell him all the time that he's an athlete now and he needs to take care of his body. Well, I want to make sure I'm around to see my little athlete grow into a big one.

What are your best tips for renewing your fitness goals? 

How do you stay motivated and on track? 

This is post four in a series of sponsored posts and sweepstakes for the San Diego Honda Dealers Association. Visit and comment weekly for a chance to win Amazon gift cards!

Family Road Trip : Books, Tech and Gadgets for Kids

I have a confession to make: we've never taken a roadtrip. Sure, we've taken to the freeways to visit family, but we've never loaded up the car with the specific intent of driving up the California coast or heading to Yellowstone (both are items on our family bucket list). So, I've never really had to worry about keeping our son occupied for more than a few hours. That said, we do have several items we always bring with us for car trips.

Headphones: They are a must. Our son has to use them for the DVD player, the Nintendo DS, the iPod Touch, the iPad and anything else that will make enough noise to bother everyone else in the car. We have a pair of Skullcandy headphones and they're great. When he's wearing them we can't hear any of the blips and beeps from his games.

Tech toys: As I mentioned, we're a gadget loving family. Before we head out on the road, I make sure all our apps are up to date on the iPad, iPhone and iPod Touch and we look for new games to download. I make sure all my magazine subscriptions have the current issue downloaded. Even though I charge everything before we leave, I make sure we have our car kit, too.

Camera: Our son is picking up my photography habit. He's really starting to enjoy taking pictures. Even though he can take them with his iPod, I like to give him our point and shoot as well. If your kids have iPods too, there are a ton of free and easy to use photography and video apps they can use for the vacation photos.

 
Books: This is a no brainer. Since our son loves to read just as much as we do, a trip to the library is a must. Right now, our son is really into a few series. He's reading The Mysterious Benedict Society, The Secret Series and The Heroes of Olympus series.



It's no accident that I try to steer our son towards books with a high page count! He reads too fast to buy many short books. And yes, we know we're blessed.

Family games:  In addition to the things we played as kids like the license plate alphabet and license plate states game, I found a cute road sign bingo on Pinterest. You can download the bingo template from Oopsey Daisy.

Video camera: Right now my son is on vacation without us. I wish I'd had the foresight to order a waterproof video camera for him. He'll be riding a SeeDo, going fishing, kayaking and inner tubing for the first time. I'd love to have video of those moments captured from his perspective. This DB Power Waterproof Action camera is perfect for water activities.

Hopefully we'll be able to tackle some of the items on our family bucket list soon. There are so many cities, national parks and attractions we want to see. To quote Amy Foster from our trip to Disney this past spring, we only have 18 summers to spend with our kids. Make sure they are all memorable!

What ideas, tips or resources do you have to make road trips easy for everyone? What has been your 

favorite road trip destination?

This is post three in a series of sponsored posts and sweepstakes for the San Diego Honda Dealers Association. Visit and comment weekly for a chance to win Amazon gift cards! Affiliate links used. 

Renting A Camera Lens | Works For Me Wednesday

I really wanted to take nice photos of my brother's wedding. I have two lenses for my Canon Rebel and neither was going to cut it. I went to a local business, Calumet Photo, and they helped me choose a lens to rent for the weekend.

The staff at the rental counter were really nice. I told them I'm new to all this photography stuff and they were very patient with me. I told them where I would be (outdoor, day and evening) and what I needed the lens to do. I wanted a good all-around lens so I wouldn't have to worry about changing lenses out or carrying our big camera bag (which isn't a bag, but an ugly backpack not stylish enough for a wedding). 

They recommended the Canon 24-105. With it, I would be able to take close up and distance photos and, along with the speed flash I also rented, would work well in the dark, too.

I really liked this lens. Most of the photos I took were really crisp. There was a little bit of a learning curve to it. I tried some close up shots that ended up being blurry. In the evening, the speed flash caused the camera to run really slow.

I missed several shots of my brother and mom dancing because I was waiting for the flash to re-charge. I also wasn't prepared for how fast my battery would run out. The camera died early in the evening and like a dummy I left my point and shoot at the hotel. I've never needed a back-up battery until this. It's something I'll be investing in soon.

I also wasn't prepared for how heavy this lens would feel by the end of the day. Not only was my neck really sore, so were my arms. After carrying this around all day, mono-pods made a lot more sense.

Renting a lens was a little expensive. Because I picked up the lens on a Thursday, I paid for a three day rental. Still, $100 is a small investment if you're considering buying a lens. The Canon 24-105 ranges from $800-$1100 depending on whether it's new or used. I'd much rather rent it once to make sure I liked it before dropping that kind of money. Renting a lens was a great experience and I'm sure it's something I'll do again.

Have you ever rented a camera lens? How was your experience? 

Pamper Me: How I Make Time for Me and What Makes Me Feel Special

Since I've been a work at home mom, I've had to redefine a lot things to fit our lifestyle and budget. When I had my office job, I would meet people for lunch, now I meet for coffee. I used to keep regular appointments to get my brows waxed, now I only go when I travel for blog related events. Manicures and pedicures are reserved for special occasions. Trips to the spa? Pretty much a thing of the past. I definitely had to re-think the way I defined 'me time' and being pampered. I know taking time for myself is important. I get really grouchy when I don't and then I make my family miserable.

Most women of color will tell you that getting their hair done is less a matter of vanity and more necessity because our hair can be pretty hard to take care of. In fact, before we married I told my husband that getting my hair done is and always will be a line item in our budget. He's never complained. I've learned the hard way what can happen when I don't visit a professional. There's a reason I will gladly drive 38 miles one way to see my stylist every 9 weeks. Because she's a miracle worker.

Even though I consider going to the salon a necessity, I still manage to turn the trip into a nice day out for myself. Before I get there, I usually stop for a smoothie or coffee. I bring a book, some magazines, snacks and my iPad. When I'm finished, me and my bouncy hair will try to meet up with a friend at My Happy Place for dessert at The Cheesecake Factory.

If no one is available to hang out, I spend some time window shopping at the mall and then popping into stores we don't have in my part of town. DSW, Loehmann's and Saks Off Fifth are some of my 'must visit' places. A few hours alone in the stores looking at new trends and scouting clearance racks is a great way for me to recharge my batteries.

As for being pampered, I'm lucky I get to feel that way all the time. I feel pampered when my husband opens doors for me, pulls out my chair or holds my coat open so I can slip it on. I feel pampered when my son opens the car door for me and kisses me good morning every day. Spa trips are great, but I will take these little endearments from my boys over a mud wrap any day. By adjusting my thinking a little bit, I realize I don't have to spend a lot of money or make a lot of effort to feel special.

This is post two in a series of sponsored posts and sweepstakes for the San Diego Honda Dealers Association. Visit and comment weekly for a chance to win Amazon gift cards!

Leaving On A Jet Plane

I just left the airport and my heart is breaking a little. Tyler is on his first vacation without us. Yes, he went with family, but it's not the same!

This feels like that moment where our kids stop being just our kids and truly become part of the world at large. I have a feeling Tyler will return from his two parent-free weeks away feeling more mature and responsible. He will, quite possibly, feel he does not need me as much anymore.

Of course, I know that's what we want for our kids. Confidence, street smarts, independence and having a good head on their shoulders are things parents work hard to instill in their kids.

But watching Tyler walk away, knowing he may come back a different kid, tore me up a little. He's growing up so fast. I thought I was ready, but this morning I decided I don't like it. Not one bit.

It's the Thought That Counts?

Since the roots are still attached, I have a sneaking suspicion these were pulled from the neighborhood landscaping.

Bloggers and Compensation: I Asked and They Blew Me Off

I'm still stewing over something so I'm hoping to write about it and move on. Back in April, I got a private message on Twitter from the marketing people behind an app I use. I had asked a question on their Facebook page, and, despite my not having my blog information on my personal Facebook page, they must have followed the internet rabbit trail back to this site. They said they would love to work with me and asked that I get in touch.


I sent an email saying I enjoy using their app and I'd be happy to work with them on sponsored content. I'm sure you can see where this is going. Crickets. I never heard from them again. Had I gone to them to ask how to get my client as one of their in-app ads, they would have responded with rates. Because they are a business. Well, guess what? So am I.

After I sent my email I jotted down some ideas to present to them beyond a general review that would have crossed all budget levels. I know this won't be the last time a company blows me off after I respond to their soft pitch with my rates, but it's still really disappointing. I used their app yesterday and today, which is probably why I'm still a little bitter. Who better to help a brand increase their social profile than its loyal users?


Now, I'm sure some of you are thinking, "maybe they don't have any money." It's possible, and it's something PR says all the time. But. I can pull up links to other posts about this app, and the links the writers used are all affiliate links. So there's money somewhere. Not responding to me at all was a bit unprofessional and it prevented us from being able to come up with an alternate form of compensation beyond a straight paycheck. While cash is king, I am open to other ideas if they make sense.


I think I've been pretty clear about how I want to work with brands. My About Me pages are the most visited on my site. But just in case, I copied the snippet below from my Policies and Procedures:


Sponsored Content: If your pitch involves 'sharing information with my readers,' be prepared to receive a response with my rates. Let's work together to create a program for your client/brand. Whether it's one post or an entire campaign across platforms (video, Pinterest, Facebook,Twitter), I want to help you create exposure for brands that fit my site.


Yes, I do make exceptions and this may have been a time I was willing to do so, but now I'll never know. Even though I used the app today, this situation has colored my opinion of them. I'm not sorry I mentioned money. They wanted me to provide a service (and use my trust capitol to provide that service); I told them the service came with a price. It's too bad, because I think we could have put together something really fun and I think it would have tied in nicely with the posts I've done before about the apps I like and the app board I have on Pinterest. I'm wondering if I should send one last email or just let it go.


Though this situation was a little discouraging, I'll be sticking to my guns when it comes to pay and sponsored content. Hopefully me maintaining my principles will attract the kinds of brands and businesses that see the value in what bloggers can provide. 

What about you: have you heard crickets when you mentioned your rates? How did you handle the situation? 

Photo credit freedigitalphotos.net

House Proud | Our Home Renovation Story

I got an email from someone who watched one of my YouTube videos and it totally made my day. He message wasn't about the content in the video, but rather a request for the name of the paint color in my kitchen. I'm sure it seems silly to you, but I took it as a compliment.

Our house is a fixer. Though there was another, more move-in ready model with the same floor plan for sale at the same time, we chose this one because it's on a cul de sac and had a tiny patch of grass in the front. We were naive enough to think we could renovate room by room and be finished within five years. I've watched enough HGTV and DIY Network that I should have known better. We've been here six years and the kitchen is the only room we've touched.

When we bought the house, I was working for a builder. Part of my job was to scope out the model homes of our competitors. I had a ton of ideas of what I wanted my first house to look like, all based on the gorgeous model homes I visited. I had a very specific vision inspired by one of the homes my former company designed. What a wake up call it was when it came time to price the stuff for our kitchen! Some of the the things I wanted cost the same as a compact car.

Still, I wanted to get as close to my vision as possible. Phil and I visited every home, hardware, flooring, lighting, appliance and window covering store within a 20 mile radius to choose the kitchen components. We had less than a month and only $10,000 (including labor) to pull it all together. We did go over budget but barely so. We made it happen for a lot less than a kitchen usually costs and we're so happy with the results.

Getting the email made me happy because someone else took note of our hard work and efforts. Our kitchen is a labor of love, patience and Phil's handyman skills. It definitely looks and feels like 'us.' If you're ever at my house, now you know why I won't offer to take you on a tour but I will ask if you want coffee.

Patti, the color you're asking about is Sherwin Williams #6270 in Soul Mate. Thank you for noticing.

Pinterest Test Drive | DIY for Cleaning Oven Racks

Apologies for not taking 'before' pictures for this post.

I found a list on Pinterest for easy DIY cleaning solutions and decided to test one out this past weekend. Since I've only removed our racks once since we've owned the stove, I figured it was past time they got a good cleaning.

Source: picklee.com via Jordan on Pinterest Pinned to my Green Living board

The directions call for overnight soaking. We had plans to spend the night away so the timing was great. I already had the dryer sheets (Target Up and Up brand) and Phil picked up the Dawn brand of diswashing liquid for me. At the last minute, I also put my stovetop racks in the tub hoping the formula would work for both.

We left home around 4:30pm this past Saturday and didn't return home until around 2:45 Sunday so the four racks were soaking much longer than required.

This method definitely worked on both types of racks but not quite as easily as the directions indicate. If your oven racks have been cleaned more often than mine, meaning more than once in the past five years, your results will probably be better.

After the soaking, I used the dryer sheets to scrub the racks but also had to use a sponge for some really stubborn debris. The racks left rust spots on the bottom of the tub, but elbow grease removed them. When it's time to do this again, I will put the dryer sheets on the bottom of the tub and lie the oven racks on top of them and see if it helps keep the rust away.

I still had to give the corners of the stovetop racks a good scrubbing with a coarse sponge, but the grease was a lot easier to remove than it has been in the past. My only complaint with this method would be that I had some silver flakes on my fingers that came from the coating to my oven racks. Since I left the racks soaking for so long, that could be my fault but it's something to be aware of.

Since the oven racks were out, I smeared baking soda paste on the bottom of the oven, too. It worked like a charm. While the racks aren't in like new condition, this is the cleanest they've been in five years. My oven looks great and hopefully this will help eliminate the burning smell we sometimes get. Pinterest success!

San Diego Supports the Kings! | Wordless Wednesday

Summer Reading Lists for Kids | 8 Links To Get You Started

We feel very blessed that Tyler has embraced reading the way he has. He was one of the top readers in his grade and last week he got to go on a special FroYo date with his school principal and the other top readers. This morning before school, we talked about whether he wants to participate in the summer reading programs from our local library and Barnes and Noble. 

Since so many of our friends have been mentioning how hard it has been for them to get their kids to read, I asked if he'd be willing to help motivate some of his friends, too. So, we're going to ask if anyone wants to do a summer reading challenge. I haven't decided on a prize, but I think it will be along the lines of an afternoon at our local water park or mini golf course.

I tell our friends that, at first, I had to let Tyler choose the books he wanted to read even if the titles were things I thought were ridiculous like the Captain Underpants series. Then, once he decided he enjoyed reading, we started to suggest books for him. He seems to have found his genre, sci fi/fantasy, but he does read general fiction, too. Tyler trusts my tastes now (for the most part), though he did raise an eyebrow when I brought home A Wrinkle in Time.

To help our friends participate in the challenge, I spent all morning on Google searching for good book lists. Most of the lists are really long. I haven't looked through all of them but the few I did read have books across genres and of different lengths.

If you have an e-reader, check out a site I love, Pixel of Ink. They find several free Kindle books per day and have separate site just for kids and young adults.

Happy reading! 

8 Lists for Summer Reading for Kids

*My Pinterest board of books my 10-year old son likes has 3 links to book lists, including a list of suggestions for boys.

*This user generated list from Goodreads has over 5,000 titles in it!

*This list on About.com's section on children's books has 12 links to reading lists for kids, tweens and teens (most links open as PDF's).

*The Salt Lake City Library created a list of 36 titles for boys.

*Reading.org's young adult choices listed from 1998-2012 (open as PDF's).

*BoysRead.org has titles broken down by age range.

*A multicultural book list from Reading is Fundamental for grades K-5.

*26 young adult titles from the LA Times 2012 Summer Reading List

ETA: After I put this post up I spent some time going through my RSS feeds. Fellow blogger Kelly of Mocha Momma posted this book list for teens and adults a few days ago.

Our Ojai Weekend Getaway | Family Travel in Southern California

I apologize for being a bad blogger and not taking enough pictures for this post.

Last weekend we went up to Ojai, an inland city north of Ventura and east of Santa Barbara. My brother's wife's family lives there and the wedding and reception were held there. Judging by the traffic and signs along the road, there were quite a few other weddings that weekend. I'm sure with all of the valleys and orchards there are probably some really pretty locations.

We stayed at the Hummingbird Inn from Friday to Sunday. The Inn is on Ojai's main road and is easy to get to from the 101 and 33 freeways. We liked staying there and would do so again. The Hummingbird Inn is an older hotel and it shows a bit in the outside but they started a remodel a few years ago and the touches they put in are nice.

We chose a room with a king bed over a room with two queens. We brought a twin sized air mattress for Tyler and there was plenty of room for it to the right of the bed (all of the roll-aways were reserved) . The room had a small closet but plenty of drawer space. We loved having a fridge and microwave. The room didn't feel cramped with three of us in it. I would have liked more space at the sink for getting ready, but if we had been there for an occasion other than a wedding it wouldn't have been as big of deal because I'm sure I wouldn't have been putting on a full face and doing my hair. It might be a tight squeeze for two women sharing the room.

The pool area was really cute but the pool wasn't heated. Since Ojai can get really hot in the summer, I guess they don't really need to heat it, but Tyler said it was a little cold. The jacuzzi was perfect at night. There was a bit of a chill in the air which is typical for that area at the base of the mountains.

Our favorite part of the stay was breakfast. The hotel puts out a full spread in the lobby. This isn't just coffee and dry cereal (though they do have that, too). They have a cast iron waffle maker and orange press! Tyler loved making his own waffle and squeezing his own orange juice. Ojai is known for its citrus so the oranges were fresh and super sweet. It was the best OJ I've ever had. If we ever go back, I'll make sure I have a bottle of champagne for mimosas. The breakfast spread also included toast, bagels, oatmeal, yogurt, peanut butter, a jar of Nutella and an assortment of tea.

My other favorite perk was the WiFi and the computer in the lobby. The morning of the wedding, me, my brother, our grandmother and our mom were making revisions to the wedding ceremony script. I monopolized the entire tech setup transferring files between their computer, my laptop and iPad. It was a lot less stressful having access to another computer. The hotel staff was cool with me taking it over and didn't complain about all the paper we used formatting the script.

Because we were there for an event, we didn't get to explore the center of town. Phil and Tyler took a walk up the main street. Ojai Avenue has a coffee shop, bakery, movie theater, lots of women's clothes, art and furniture stores and restaurants. I also noticed a small park with a playground.

Friday evening we had the rehearsal dinner at Boccali's, an Italian restaurant at the end of town. We had a long table outside and ordered from a set menu. I was a little worried because of the reviews I'd read, but the dinner went off without a hitch. The food came out on time, people didn't have to wait long for beer or wine and everyone enjoyed their meal. I had the lasagna and ate all but a few bites it was so good.

The restaurant describes their signature dessert, strawberry shortcake, as world famous. I agree. Tyler, my father and I split one dish and I wished I had ordered one just for me. It was fantastic. The drive up to Ojai leads you through Oxnard, home of the Strawberry Festival (which was this past weekend 5/19 and 5/20). Oxnard berries are better than any other California grown berry (in my opinion) and the fruit in Boccali's shortcake was the perfect mix of sweet and tart.

I can't say for sure that we would go back to Ojai again. If we were more outdoorsy I think we would have had a great time. The Hummingbird Inn has beach cruisers that are free for guests to use. There are plenty of bike trails, lots of hiking and Lake Casitas is not too far away from the center of town. I think we would all have enjoyed nearby Santa Barbara or even Ventura as a getaway. If you visit, July might be the best time to visit because the annual Ojai Wine Festival and the Ojai Music Festival are both held then. But, Ojai is definitely cute and picturesque and since my new extended family lives there, I'm sure I'll get to know the area even better and come to love it.

Ojai Sunset | Wordless Wednesday

To My Little Brother on His Wedding Day

If my brother had asked me to speak at his wedding today, this is the speech I would have given. 


Hello everyone, for those I haven't met yet, I'm David's older sister, Melanie. When friends ask me about my relationship with my brother and if we get along, I tell them we used to be the typical cat and dog cliche and fought all the time. The turning point for me came when I was about 25 and David was about 16. That's when he did something pretty cool and I started to see him differently. To tell the story I have to go back into my past and make the day a little bit about me, but I promise to turn it around and make it about David again. 


My husband and I met in high school. We dated, broke up and got back together again more than once. Our final break up was emotional and dramatic and happened right after Phil joined the military and got orders to go overseas. We kept in touch and dated other people. When Phil's time in Europe was up, he moved back to California and did the smart thing by deciding to rekindle our relationship. 


He called my mother's house to ask for my number. David answered the phone. When Phil said he wanted to get back in touch with me, David told him he didn't know my number by heart, (this was well before everyone had cell phones) and to call back later in the evening when our mom would be home. They hung up and David called me right away.


"Guess who I just talked to?"


"I don't know, who?"


"Phil, and he asked for your number."


I freaked out and made David repeat their conversation word for word. 


David told me he didn't give Phil my number because he wasn't sure I wanted him to have it, since we had broken up.


I tell people this story and say that, by far, that was the coolest thing my brother had ever done for me. Other than my closest girlfriends, most other people I knew wouldn't have had the presence of mind to not just hand over my phone number without checking with me first, let alone a teenage boy who was just starting to notice girls himself.


David made sure Phil wouldn't call until later in the evening when I wouldn't be home and Phil would get either my voicemail or speak with the guy I was living with at the time (who was only a friend, but David didn't tell Phil that). That moment was when I started to look at David more like a friend than a little brother, and to realize that he'd always have my back. 


David, I can honestly say you've grown into a fine young man. I value your friendship. I look forward to being alongside you as start this next chapter of your life as a husband. And though I will never, ever forgive you for killing off my goldfish, I will always have your back. I love you little brother. Cheers.

Rembering Donna Summer and Her Daughter, Mimi

When I heard about the death of Donna Summer, the first thing I thought of was her daughter, Mimi. When I was twelve or thirteen, my family's  hairdresser, Charlene, gave me Mimi's phone number. Charlene did Mimi's hair, too and thought she and I might get along. Charlene said we were a lot alike.

This was way before cell phones, so the number Charlene gave me was to Mimi's personal line in her room (the fact of which I was insanely envious because my parents refused to give me my own line). I kept Mimi's phone number in my wallet for months but never made the call. I thought that, without us having been introduced, it would be strange for me to call her out of the blue. I was sure Mimi was wary of people trying to become her friend just because of who her mom was.

I should have trusted Charlene. After all, who knows you better than the woman who does your hair? Now, I can't help but wonder what might have happened if I had just gotten over myself and called Mimi. Would we have become friends? Would we still be friends this many years later? I could have called her today and told her how sorry I am to hear that her mother is gone.

I spent many, many hours at my local roller rink. Donna Summer and disco balls will always go hand in hand in my mind. Rest in peace, Disco Queen.

Kids, Obesity and Finger Pointing

This post has been sitting in draft for a looonng time. Almost two years. I started it and worried I wasn't being articulate enough for such a controversial topic. But, there's no point in writing it if I'm not going to put it out there. I don't push buttons just for the sake of it, but I do think serious conversations are in order when it comes to children and obesity.

I wrote the following in March when Tyler was still in second grade, as a contribution for a newsletter piece:

A few weeks ago at morning assembly, I noticed a girl I had not seen before in the second grade classes. This little girl is obese. Not 'big boned'. Not 'still carrying baby fat', or any other euphemism people apply to children who are overweight. Obese. I watched her struggle to get up from her carpet square after assembly and my heart broke for her.

She is, unfortunately, not the only severely overweight child at my son's elementary school. There are others. Too many others. Watching these kids try to be kids; running and playing with their friends while their faces get red, their breathing gets labored and they are often left behind; it's hard not to get angry with their parents. How can anyone let that happen to a child?

A week or so after I submitted the piece I saw her getting out of a car at morning drop off. She had to swing one leg out of the car then turn onto her stomach to get out the rest of the way. Not from a tall SUV, from a regular car.

I saw the little girl again this year on the first day of school. She's gotten bigger. I have no idea what's going on in her household. I have no idea if there are extenuating circumstances or underlying health issues. And, I know I'm making huge assumptions about this girl and her family. But I feel very strongly that it's one thing for an adult to make poor diet and lifestyle choices, but kids need our help getting off to a good start.

We go out to eat. I eat ice cream and cookies after Tyler goes to bed. I know what to look for when I read a label, I know what a portion size looks like and know I can't eat like bad foods every day without consequences. Kids don't know these things until we teach them.

Tyler has years ahead of him to eat like crap and not exercise. But while he's living at home, it's my job to steer him in the right direction. We talk about healthy food. I've told him about HFCS. He knows why candy is a special treat. He understands why I stopped buying juice pouches. Hopefully, the habits we have a t home now will transfer when he's older and out on his own.

Weight is a hot button topic. Especially when it comes to children. There is always blame. I know that it is possible for an adult to carry extra weight and be healthy, but is that true for children? If a 7 year old weighs the same as an adult, is the stress on their developing bodies the same as it is for an overweight adult or is it worse? Children should not be obese! Again, I'm not referring to chubby. I think we all know the difference between a little bit of pudge and obesity. If I had to guess, the little girl, a third grader, weighs almost as much as I do.

I know the arguments people make about healthy eating: it takes too much time, there's a lack of education, access, and financial resources. To a certain extent, I agree with parts of the reasons people say eating healthy is hard for them to do on a consistent basis. Reading a label can be confusing. Some grocery stores are better than others. Organics are expensive. It's hard to keep up with the trends when, one day, agave syrup is the miracle replacement for table sugar and the next it's said it's exactly like table sugar and maybe even worse. I know this.

But when are we as a society going to call bullshit and say enough with the excuses? This is the age of instant information. If you need help or have questions about diet and nutrition, ask! Google 'healthy eating for kids' and you can get lost in the Internet rabbit hole of recipes, nutrition information, food blogs etc. That search term yielded me 130 personal results. Those are things my friends, family and fellow bloggers have posted online. Add those results to ones from various health, government and non profit organizations and 'I didn't know' just won't cut it anymore. If people on Twitter can break news before traditional media, researching healthy eating can't be hard.

We are raising a generation of children doomed to a lifetime of health issues. By no means am I saying I'm perfect or some type of role model. I'm not purposely trying to make anyone angry, either. It seems to me the fingers keep pointing in so many directions; the school system, the fast food industry, the food manufacturers, but I'm not hearing anyone say, "if you are the person responsible for the grocery shopping, you need to be accountable."

**************

This is where I stopped writing and left the post in draft. I think the post came back to me because of a Newsweek magazine article by Gary Taubes that I read last week. I think the science of why we gain weight is more complex than the simplistic calorie intake and lack of exercise we hear, but I also think being active and monitoring what types of fats, starches and carbs we consume as well as not being sedentary is totally key to maintaining a healthy weight.

Image from PDFMagazines

I think a lot of people get hung up on a specific idea of what healthy should mean. Healthy does not have to equal eating only heaps of fruit and vegetables. Getting my son to regularly eat veggies is a challenge that I don't always win.

Healthy can be switching from whole milk to lowfat, buying wheat bread instead white, buying reduced sugar peanut butter and jelly, 100% fruit leather over other fruit strips, switching to an all fruit and nut trail mix over the ones with chocolate pieces. Skinless chicken breasts over other pieces, ground turkey or chicken over beef. Eating one meatless meal per week (marinara over meat sauce). I can go on and on. So many little swaps in the items people add to their grocery carts and tweaks to what is prepared at home can mean big changes in terms of the amount of sugar, bad fats and calories consumed.

People are overweight for different reasons. I know people struggle with food and weight. Still, I stand by my statement that a fourth grader should not weigh the same as an adult. Food choices are not as hard as some are making them out to be. Some of the excuses for not leading a more healthful lifestyle are just that, excuses.

As a nation we have enough knowledge about what kinds of things we should and should not be putting into our bodies. We know moderation is key. We know doing something physical several times a week is better than sitting around. We know if the first ingredient on a food label is some form of 'ucrose' it's not good for us. We know kids learn from our behaviors. We know we are the best example to set for our kids.

The girl I mentioned in the newsletter piece still attends Tyler's school. I can say for sure she's gained a lot more weight since I first saw her in second grade. If she doesn't weigh more than me I'd be shocked. I can't help but feel someone in her family has failed her. Whether it's from lifestyle choices or something is happening with her health, she needs help. 

I don't know all the answers. I'm not saying I'm right and everyone else is wrong. But I've watched this young girl literally gasping for breath just walking down the hallway. And that's just not right.

We need to look at what we're putting on the conveyor belt and ordering at the takeout window and take ownership. We need to look at our families and ask if we're really making the best choices. We have to stop pointing fingers in every other direction but at ourselves.

Disney Social Media Moms Celebration 2012

"This is the best family vacation ever!" We heard those words several times during our second trip to Disney World. I don't know how they did it, but the team behind Disney Social Media Moms managed to outdo themselves from our first trip two years ago. The team that puts this event together really pay attention to every detail. They manage to find the perfect balance of learning, fun and 'soft pitches' from the different areas of Disney.

If you're wondering what the conference is all about, Suzanna from Zannaland wrote a very thorough description of what the event is all about. In a nutshell, the conference is an invite-only event designed to bring together bloggers from different genres for a combination of junket, motivational speakers and social media education. It's hard to recap eight days of fun without completely Disney-fying my blog so, for this post at least, I'll stick to the highlights of the conference itself.

Thursday, Conference Day 1
Since we were in Orlando so early because of the redeye flight, we had our first buffet at Cape May Cafe and then we walked around our hotel. The pool at the Yacht Club Resort is by far the best of the four hotels we've stayed in. The conference opened with a cocktail reception for the attendees. We learned about Disney's newest resort in Hawaii, Aulani and the Adventures By Disney program. After the reception we went to a dinner party.

One of the best things about attending this conference is how well our families are included. The Yacht Club which has its own beach, and dinner was buffet style. The pirate themed dinner was on the sand. I have to say, it's great to go to a conference where you aren't required to wear shoes! The kids had a blast playing the water and the sun setting over the hotels was beautiful. It was such a nice way to start saying hello to everyone attending.

(credit: 5 Minutes for Mom)

Friday, Conference Day 2
We always get an early start on the speakers so we can enjoy the parks before all meeting again for dinner. We had a great lineup of speakers: Amy Jo Martin, Peter Shankman, Chris Brogan, Ramon De Leon and San Diegan Lisa Druxman. It's great to go to an event that is equal parts practical takeaway and motivation. I connected with so much of what Amy Jo said, namely, that I've been approaching so many aspects of social media as a business entirely wrong! I have a lot to think about.

The dinner event was a private party in DinoLand. The park was closed to guests and the kids had free run of the arcade games. I'm still kicking myself that I did not know Expedition Everest (the best coaster in Disney World) was open for us to ride. A DJ was onsite as well as a few characters for photos.

When we got back to the hotel, we decided to hang out at the pool and give Tyler time to burn off some of the energy (and sugar) from the dinner party. Having cocktails in the jacuzzi while your child plays in the lazy river is a fantastic way to end the day.

Saturday, Conference Day 3
This was the day some conference attendees chose their breakout session. I heard so many good things about the Wild Africa Trek I didn't hesitate to sign up. I was a little sad to miss the hard hat tour of the new Fantasyland (it's going to be amazing!) and the session on video blogging from Sony. But, I can honestly say the Trek was one of the best things I've ever done on vacation.

On the tour, participants are strapped into harnesses with carabiners. We're hooked onto a central line and we got to stand about 10 feet above the hippo pool and the crocodile nest. Then we crossed over the crocs and hippos on a rope bridge. After that, we took a guided tour through the Savannah. We stopped for a bento style lunch and the views were incredible. If we go back to Disney, we're going to really make an effort to keep room in the budget for this. Tyler would love it! 

All the families met again for the closing party. We got to take a sneak peek at Disney's newest resort, Art of Animation. It was amazing! The property is divided by theme and we got to see the Finding Nemo property. All I could say, repeatedly, was Wow! The building is beautiful. It's bright and colorful. There's fantastic artwork, the arcade was top notch and the pool! Stunning. It was the perfect setting to end the weekend.

Thank you to all of the Social Media Moms organizers! We had a great time.

*I'll have all my photos up on Flickr soon. We paid a fee to attend DSMM and were offered various discounts, experiences and perks. I have not been asked to write about the conference or Disney. Thoughts and opinions are purely my own.

My Favorite $15 Tech Investment - Belkin USB Swivel Surge Protector | Things iLove Thursday

This is only iProduct related in a round about way, but I just love this little thing so much I wanted to share.

Not long before we went on our trip to Disney Social Media Moms, I opened an email from OnSale.com*, one of the gazillion daily deals emails I get, because the offer caught me eye. It was for something similar to an item I pinned to my tech Pinterest board and the price was definitely right.

I ordered the Belkin adapter on a Thursday and I believe it was here by the following Friday. So far, it's been one of my best tech investments. I Tweeted a picture of it in use the night before our trip. I think most bloggers can identify with it.

Not including the batteries, I'm charging four different things at once. I worried I was bringing too many gadgets with me, but we used them all. The mini adapter was great in the hotel because we could keep everything on the desk rather than on the floor and risk something getting kicked under a bed.

I was a hero in the airports. People were huddled around the outlets not willing to give up the space no matter how uncomfortable they were forced to sit. Everyone was totally aware of others stalking the outlets and looking to move in and they were so protective of their space it was feral. When I asked someone if I could share and showed them I had enough space for both of us, they visibly relaxed. It was kind of amusing. Note to airports: give us more outlets!

The adapter has space for three, three-pronged items and two USB cords. There's a button on the back so you can twist the prongs depending on the way your outlet is aligned. This little guy is going with me on every future vacation and especially blogging conferences.

What's the best low dollar, high impact investment 

you've made on a gadget?

*Edited 7/10/14 - This was originally an affiliate post for daily deal site OnSale.com but that site has shut down. The retail price in the photo is from the Belkin site. 

*Yes, the product photo above contains an affiliate link. Affiliate sales keep me properly caffeinated. I would not have written about this if I didn't truly think it was the shiz.

Epcot at Sunset | Wordless Wednesday

Live From Disney World

I'm in Orlando for my second Disney Social Media Moms conference. It's been a bit of a whirlwind and it's only our second day.

We took a redeye Wednesday night. I'm still trying to figure out if it was a good idea. Our idea was to have dinner, get on the plane, go to sleep and wake up in Orlando. A medical emergency on the plane changed that plan a little. Thankfully the person is OK. But it made for a really long day.

Yesterday we walked Epcot for a few hours and then met up with the rest of the conference for dinner on the beach in front of the Yacht Club. After dinner we let Tyler go back into the lazy river while we had cocktails in the jacuzzi. It was a great day and perfect evening. Until.

Phil accidentally dropped my phone in the jacuzzi. Now, since I've had a smartphone, I've become somewhat of an addict. I'm very overprotective of my tech. Kudos to the ladies at the bell desk for getting a bowl of dried rice up to our room within minutes. They must have seen the distress on my face. The phone is still in the rice. I'll let you know how it turns out.

I like attending this conference because it's different from some of the others I go to. We've had two fantastic speakers talking more about personal branding, purpose and passion than working with products. It's refreshing.

Yesterday was Take Your Child to Work Day. Sometimes I wonder if Tyler understands what I do and that it's more than playing on the internet. On the way here, he said, "thank you for being a blogger so we can go to Disney."

*sigh*

I love that kid.

*Disney is providing fantastic meals and entertainment during the conference.

My 40 Before 40 List (Sort of)

I've been sitting on this post for so long, it's almost irrelevant. I started my 40 Before 40 list and have been stuck at thirty for about two months. I'm not sure what that says about me. Either I don't have a lot of ambition or I feel pretty satisfied with the things I've accomplished so far.

In no particular order, here is my incomplete 40 Before 40 list:

1. Learn how to use my camera
2. Take a really good picture
3. Have a reason to need a passport
4. Go away for the weekend with my husband
5. Go away for the weekend with just the girls
6. Learn a new computer program like Adobe Elements
7. Define my business goals and make a business plan
8. Earn enough money through the business to hire a cleaning service
9. Take Tyler to the Midwest meet his extended family  
10. Renew my wedding vows
11. Be on TV more, I really enjoy the news segments I've done
12. Be a guest on a podcast or other online show
13. Learn how to do the smokey eye
14. Own at least one pair of fabulous designer shoes
15. Define my "style" and start to shop accordingly
16. Take a photography class
17. Have a spa day with my mom and Gramma
18. Have a Girls Only day at Disneyland
19. Do something that really scares me
20. Attend CES, Blog World or other non "mom" conference
21. Buy another lens or other piece of camera equipment
22. Go to a taping of the Ellen Show
23. See all the movies up for an Oscar before Oscar night
24. Go to an Oakland Raider game in Oakland
25. Have a grocery trip where I buy at least $200 worth for less than $30
26. Pay off my credit card
27. See Air Force One in person and/or meet the President
28. Do a 3 Day walk in another city
29. Own at least one fantastic handbag
30. Spend a day at the beach riding my dream bike, the Karma by Electra

And that's where my inspiration stops. Do you have a bucket list post? Link to it below so I can possibly steal some of your ideas.

Attempting to Embrace the Chaos

Lately I've been trying really hard to embrace the crazy. I threw my hands up and cried 'Uncle.' My Type A, anal side is having a hard time accepting the reality of how frenetic our lives have become lately, but the practical side is encouraging the the Type A side to take deep breaths and realize things will slow down soon enough.

I think it would be easier for me to let go if my mom and I hadn't had a few 'discussions' about everything from the state of my carpets to my son's wrinkled shorts. We're having one of those mother daughter moments where advice is really criticism in disguise. I've had to defend the choices I've made (or not made).

She doesn't understand why I can't "do it all" while one of the first things she did after my brother moved out a few years ago was hire a someone to clean twice a month. Things got heated. The phrase 'cleanliness is next to Godliness' was used. I realized I was on the verge of saying things I would end up regretting only after the satisfaction of getting the last word wore off.

Here's the thing: no, you can't eat off my floors but why would you want to? I have a perfectly good (and clean) kitchen table. My carpets are embarrassing, but the couch is clean. Sure, you'll have to move a pile of laundry to sit down but at least it's clean and folded. No one who comes into my home is afraid to sit down or eat anything I've made.

When I look back on my childhood and tell stories, I don't say, "man, my mom sure kept a super clean house." Instead, I talk about the green cookie jar that was always full of homemade cookies, us going shopping, her taking me to the library and buying me Sweet Valley High books, taking me to our local indoor pool and to the skating rink.

I don't think about our house or the laundry, I think about my mom herself. And that's what I want for Tyler. I want him to remember getting excited when I made his favorite meals for dinner and that I was at almost all of his practices and games. I also want Tyler to see me doing things that make me happy.

Am I happy that my house is a mess? No. It drives me absolutely crazy. But I decided awhile ago that I'm not a maid. I've already tried spending two hours a day making sure the house is exactly the way I like it (basically, perfect) and I've also tried screaming at my family to get them to help out more. Both ways left all of us miserable. I was resentful that I spent so much time cleaning for two people who could obviously care less and they got tired of me nagging.

The way I left it with my mom was to tell her that I don't have to do things the same way she did. We don't have to be the same kind of mom. She's a great mom and I like to think I'm doing a pretty good job myself. But, that doesn't mean I have to follow in her exact footsteps. And it definitely doesn't mean I should feel guilty for doing what works for us. Things may be crazy, busy and messy but we're having fun. At the end of the day, that's really all that matters.

Photo credit:

Source: fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net via Kristin on Pinterest