I went for an ultrasound this morning (no, not that kind!). When I got into the exam room, the tech told me my doctor ordered two different scans, one abdominal and one v@ginal. Yippee! If you've never had an internal ultrasound, the wand is like a vibrat@r for newbies only not nearly as fun.
So, after the outside ultrasound, I had to use the loo so as not to pee on the table for the internal exam. I got undressed, stretched out, and the tech smeared me up. (Side note: sincere thanks to whomever designed the gel warmer thingy.) Despite being female and having the same ladyparts, she couldn't find the, um, entrance and I had to insert the wand myself. Yeah, I know!
I'm staring at the ceiling while the tech is moving the wand around. Left, right, up and down like a vajajay joystick. Despite having an empty bladder, my discomfort is growing and I'm sure my uterus and ovaries were all, "the hell?" And the more the tech stirs my innards the more pressure I feel until I'm scared I might toot. Which made me think of the "musical fruit" song from when we were kids, and that made me think of Beej.
Which? Totally made me want to laugh. But I couldn't because I was worried the muscle contractions would force the joystick out AND make me toot. So I had to try and hold in my laughter and gas at the same time which, let me tell you, was not easy.
Now that I have embarrassed myself and potentially lost a friend, it's your turn! Where have you been that made you think of someone even though the circumstances had zero to do with the person?
