Mabel's Labels BlogHer 2009 Contest

Sunday, February 8, 2009

I've made some really good friends through blogging, both online and live and in color. Saturday night I went out for dinner and coffee with Deb from SanDiegoMomma. It was a lovely evening. We talked for hours about almost everything. We're alot alike. And apparently so are our husbands. It's almost eerie. Deb is my bloggy twin. She's my sister from another Mister.

And I may never have met her if I hadn't started blogging. The same goes for my other blog friends. If I hadn't decided to give blogging a try I would never have saved Jamie's son from a bee. I wouldn't have commiserated with Jenn about our lack of angst, watched my son be fearless in Cheri's pool, defended Kate from a nasty commenter or developed a bit of a crush on Aaryn.

I also wouldn't have met the wonderful ladies I refer to as the Disney Crew, or Maria Bailey who I look up to and respect. These relationships are so important to me. With my friends, I'm not just Drama Kid's mom, Or Drama Dad's wife. I'm Mel. And I can let my hair or my guard down depending on the situation. With them I can be myself. And that is the sign of a true friend.

Blogging has given me more than just great friends. I've also regained my sense of self. I think our society places a huge emphasis on jobs and career. When introduced to someone, I'll bet that "so, what do you do?" is one of the first questions asked in conversation. Back when I was a "working" mom, I could answer that I was in marketing. Before that I was in radio admin, before that it was retail management and before that I was a student. In between some of these stages I also added wife and mother to my titles.

But then I lost my job and I was at a loss as to how to answer that question. I could be honest and say I "do" laundry, grocery shopping, wiping pee off the floors, scooping cat poop and any of the other things on my To Do list that had started to define me. But, I decided to apply the KISS method and reply that I was a stay at home mom.

I can't speak for other moms but for me, "what do you do?" started to feel like a really loaded question. Depending on who was doing the asking, once I answered that I was an at home mom, I started to notice that some people would check out of the conversation right then and there. I could see that moment where suddenly I didn't matter quite as much as I did in the few seconds before I gave my answer when there was still hope that I'd have a conversation worthy career.

And it got worse when the other person asked if you "used to" work and if you went to college. It's as though I've thrown away all my potential just so I can take my kid to practice.There is nothing more humiliating, degrading and demoralizing than to have another person write you off because you stay home with your family.

This blog changed all that. Since I started adding Mom Blogger to my title, people don't disconnect as much anymore. People want to know what I write about and how I like it. They're interested in me. I know I shouldn't need the external validation. It shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks. But I do and it does. I'm more than "just" a mom and this blog has been a way for me to show it. I started this blog as a way to connect with other people, get my thoughts out and use the creative side of my brain that was bored to tears by the endless lists and tasks that the other half was always making. But it has morphed into something much bigger.

It feels strange to say that I’m grateful I lost my job but I am. I really feel that this was the path I was meant to take when I walked out of the office for the last time. Who knows what else is in store for me or what other roles this blog will play. I know it will keep getting better and better and I’m so excited for the journey ahead.

This is my submission to the Mabel's Labels BlogHer 2009 sponsorship. Thank you for your generosity! Good luck to all the participants.

Rules, sponsorship details and how to enter found

**ETA: I'm a finalist! I'm having a contest to say thank you for supporting me and my blog. Read the details here.


  1. God. Yes. YES! SAHM? Oh. That's so cute, dear.


    I'm so feelin' this one, Mel. Srsly.

  2. oh fun! I'd love to meet some of my blogging friends face to face!

  3. Well hello my friend. Love this post. Very sweet, but meaty at the same time. (Pls. note that I have not been making sense in any of my comments since Saturday. Do you think it was all the Cheesecake Factory goodness that threw me off kilter?)

    Anyway, Love you, you know I do and that picture makes me happy every time (EXCEPT for my claw hand.)


  4. Brilliantly said.

    I had so many people 'sympathize' with me when I said I was not only staying home with my kids, but that I USED TO BE a teacher. For shame, the wasted time & energy...Bah.

    Wish I lived close enough to be part of your real-life circle :)

  5. I know what you mean about people blanking out the minute you say SAHM. People ask if I'm bored at home, and I say I'm no more bored at home than you are at work. That kind of stops them in their tracks.

    Anyway, I'm glad to have met you in the bloggy world.

  6. Great post - I wrote one too! ; ) Good luck in the contest and I for one feel blessed to have met you. Isn't the bloggy world wonderful!

  7. I am crossing my fingers that you'll be able to attend. I really enjoyed reading your post!

    You're pretty AWESOME and you know this :)

  8. You rock, Mel...and I love you lots! And as a single gal working 3 jobs in the "outside working world", I totally appreciate and respect all of you stay at home moms. Raising good kids, running a home and maintaining your own identity through it all is the biggest job there is! You all make the world a better place :)

  9. Congratulations on being a finalist!

  10. Congrats on being a finalist! Good luck to to us all :)

  11. Great post!

    I've *always* felt that, "What do *you* do?" is a loaded question. 'Cause what you do, Ms. Nosypants, is so important?

    I'm glad blogging as helped you find a little more of you. It's done that for me too.

    Good luck with the contest!

  12. Congrats! I'm so happy that one of the "Disney Crew" is a finalist. I hope that you win!

  13. Found you through Toni Lynn at Grocery Price Books and voted for you. Good luck!

  14. This is very sweet.
    I hope you win!


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