Today is National Womens and Girl's HIV/AIDS Awareness Day
How will you talk to your kids about sex?
I read Tanis' post about talking to her teens about sex and some of the comments (read the one from Charles) have really stuck with me. Tyler is only seven but I know the questions are going to start coming. I dread it, but know it's necessary and important. My parents didn't talk about sex. I learned in school and from friends. There weren't too many adults who were willing to have an honest discussion and relied on the abstinence or waiting until you're in love speeches.
In doing a little research* for this post (for the Red Pump Project), the articles I came across on teens and their attitudes toward sex made me sad. They seem to be taking it so casually. The idea that oral sex isn't "really" sex and "only" doing that means you're still a virgin seems so absurd to me but from what I've read, that's what they're thinking.
I don't want to be vague with Tyler. But I don't want to be "too" honest if there is such a thing. I want him to grow up respecting women and respecting himself enough to make good decisions. As much as I'd love to think he'll wait until college (at the minimum!) I know we have to be realistic. I hope that knowing his father is the first person I slept with and that I only need one hand to count my sexual partners shows him sex wasn't something I took lightly.
And, as a black woman I need to make sure he understands that, statistically speaking, we're under attack and contracting and dying from HIV faster than other racial groups.
I'm Rocking the Red Pump today to show my support, further education and help inspire and empower women to not be a statistic.
*One of the best sites I came across for teens is Sex, Etc.
I'm not wearing red pumps, but I am telling the truth.
ReplyDeleteWe have talked about everything under the sun with our kids--and they have rewarded us with (so far) behaving very responsibly.
Oh I totally dread this conversation with my girls. I don't think I can be as honest as you can with the counting on one hand thing. Maybe you can come over and talk for me when the time comes. :-) xo
ReplyDeletePS LOVE the red pumps!!!
Great topic, Mel. Here is what I think: There is not that "one talk" or "speech" that really does the trick. I think every time we talk to our kids about responsibility and consequences (appropriate to their ages) we are hopefully paving the way for their making smart decisions. Too many kids at very young ages think it is their rite of passage to engage in sexual behavior, drinking, drugs, etc...I think it is important for our kids to see what goes down with that route as a lifestyle. BTW: Those are some hawt kicks.
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