I have a bad habit. I walk around the house in my birthday suit. A lot. It's kind of accidental and mostly happens when I'm alone. I'll be getting dressed, undressed or about to get in the shower and my scattered brain will remember I left coffee in the microwave, forgot to push start on the dryer, didn't put soap in the washer or need the bra I have on the drying rack. Whatever has distracted me I have to see to it right then, or I risk forgetting. My habit has only gotten me in trouble once until recently.

The first time was back in college. One day I had to go to campus in the morning and then to my restaurant job in the early afternoon so I could help out with Happy Hour. I ended up having enough time to leave school and go home for a shower and something to eat before work. 

I decided to make a box of mac and cheese so I'd have leftovers for after work. I got the water boiling, added the pasta and forgot all about it while I was watching TV. I was literally one foot in the shower when I remembered. I ran into the kitchen not bothering to grab a towel. My roommate came home to find me in the kitchen, naked and cursing, scraping a pot of fried elbow noodles into the trash. 

"Is this what you do when I'm not home? Cook naked?" 

She got a great laugh out of it and teased me about it for awhile. That was the last time someone has accidentally caught me in the buff. But, a few weeks ago, I almost exposed myself to the neighborhood painters. 

I'd dropped Tyler off at school and came in through the garage the way I usually do. There are two doors in my laundry room; one from the garage into the laundry room and the other from the laundry into the house. I often leave the garage door and both house doors open to bring some fresh air and what little breeze I can get into the house. Of course I forgot they were open and went downstairs to take a shower.

Occasionally, Tyler doesn't flush and when I walked into the bathroom for my shower it smelled "less than fresh" so I flushed. Did I remember that the toilet had clogged the night before? Nope. Our toilets totally suck at their job so the gurgling instead of swooshing is all too familiar for us. I've become quite adept at turning the valve off really fast and avoiding overflow. 

Anyway, I figured I shouldn't leave it like that. I went upstairs to get the plunger and a bucket. Which are both in the garage. The wide open garage. I was so focused on the task at hand and thinking about the errands I was going to run the clues that I was about to put on a peep show went right over my head:

1. The bright daylight coming into my kitchen

2. The sound of at least three different male voices 

3. The noise of the air compressors for the paint sprayers

Why yes, I am that clueless sometimes. 

You'd think I'd just go back to the shower and plunge later. But then I'd be all clean trying to keep poop water from sloshing on my feet. Better to just get the dirty work over with. 

So, I'm naked in the kitchen (again!) wondering how I can avoid having to go all the way back downstairs for my bathrobe. I was thisclose to grabbing a sweater jacket from the coat closet but I grabbed something from the laundry pile instead.

I wrapped myself in Tyler's Star Wars sheet, went into the garage, hit the button to close it and got the plunger. I prefer to think of it as industriousness rather than laziness.

Have you been caught in the buff? Please share your embarrassing stories so I don't feel so alone.

Mmmm, Brains: Wordless Wednesday

My Zombie Boy, Halloween 2010

Peeing in the Trunk

After what I saw in the Target parking lot yesterday, I'm wondering if I missed something in the potty training books or if this is a new trend in getting little ones out of diapers. 

As I was walking to my car, I noticed a little girl sitting in the back of a really big SUV. She was reading a book. The woman I'm assuming was her mother was unloading her cart into the other side of the trunk. I did a doubletake because the little girl wasn't sitting back there just because, she was on the potty.

Huh?

I don't remember any of the books telling me I had to tote a potty with me everywhere I went. Even if they did, I'm not sure I would have. Those little potties are horrid! They're hard to clean, they absorb the pee smell and emptying them out was never easy. It was hard enough dealing with them in my bathroom, let alone having one sloshing all over the trunk of my car. *dry heaves*

This chair is sold all over online. I guess I am really out of the loop.

I get that public bathrooms are gross. I remember hearing someone giggle after I told Tyler to please try to keep his boy parts from touching the toilet rim. And having to hold them under the arms while they poop so they don't fall in is a pain.* In my opinion, the choice between having my kid pee in my trunk or going back into the store is a no brainer. It seems much easier than having to dispose of a bag of pee after a day of errands.

Am I alone in this? Is having a literal porta potty the new way to do things? Did you have one? Would you?

*The folding potty seat with handles was a lifesaver!!

Disparity Between Schools

This is sponsored post from Welch's Healthy Harvest but the opinions are entirely my own.

Are you watching School Pride? I just caught up on the first two episodes and I am horrified. And embarrassed. I know educators need help updating their classroom materials, keeping arts programs and keeping their quality teachers from moving to other districts. I also know that, when it comes to urban versus suburban and socioeconomic factors, there are huge disparities as to where money goes and how much certain districts get.

When we bought our house it was a compromise and, to me, a little bit of a sacrifice. We chose a fixer-upper condo in a nice area over a detached house somewhere else. We paid a little too much. The area we live in is kind of expensive in general. But, we wanted to be in this part of the city for the schools. That was criteria number one. We know we made the right choice. 

We've been very happy overall with Tyler's school. The students have a computer lab as well as computers in the classrooms. They still have PE class. The library is well stocked. The lunch program is better than most. The kids get to grow and eat things from the science garden. Our Halloween carnival? Looked like a county fair. We have on-site before and after care for working parents. I know how lucky we are.

But I'm embarrassed that I didn't really know how bad some of our nation's schools are. When I thought of the kind of conditions some kids were attempting to learn in I pictured run down buildings, no buses, no after school programs and not enough sports equipment. I was not picturing mice, rats, roaches, no paper towels or hand soap, playgrounds overrun with gopher holes, mold and general decay. Knowing our school has so much when others have so little makes me feel a little pampered, if that makes sense.

It was ironic that, while I was watching the show, someone I follow on Twitter mentioned that she was at her child's school earlier in the day and got to see all the kids working on their own iPads. The School Pride host was asking a junior high student how they play basketball with only one deflated ball and a broken backboard while someone else's first graders have their own iPads. Incredible. 

Well, my eyes have definitely been opened. I'll be paying more attention to legislation that effects schools and helping promote companies and causes that offer schools opportunities to apply for things that will enrich their student's educational experience like Welch's Harvest Grants program. I'm not quite ready to join the PTO but I'll definitely be looking at how our school uses its funds.

Singer John Legend was quoted recently as saying the state of education "is the Civil Rights movement of our time." If the first episodes of School Pride are any indication of what we can expect to see, I think he's absolutely right.

***

About Welch's Harvest Grants:

-From now until February 11, 2011, schools can apply for one of 100 grants to start their own garden. 

-Five schools will receive $1000 and 95 will receive $500. 

-Grants will include seeds and tools.

Pass on the information to your teachers and administrators!

*I am being compensated for this post but the opinions on the state of schools and the incredulity and disgust that some children have to try to learn with roaches at their feet is all mine. Photo credit belongs to me.