I've made some really good friends through blogging, both online and live and in color. Saturday night I went out for dinner and coffee with Deb from SanDiegoMomma. It was a lovely evening. We talked for hours about almost everything. We're alot alike. And apparently so are our husbands. It's almost eerie. Deb is my bloggy twin. She's my sister from another Mister.

And I may never have met her if I hadn't started blogging. The same goes for my other blog friends. If I hadn't decided to give blogging a try I would never have saved Jamie's son from a bee. I wouldn't have commiserated with Jenn about our lack of angst, watched my son be fearless in Cheri's pool, defended Kate from a nasty commenter or developed a bit of a crush on Aaryn.

I also wouldn't have met the wonderful ladies I refer to as the Disney Crew, or Maria Bailey who I look up to and respect. These relationships are so important to me. With my friends, I'm not just Drama Kid's mom, Or Drama Dad's wife. I'm Mel. And I can let my hair or my guard down depending on the situation. With them I can be myself. And that is the sign of a true friend.


Blogging has given me more than just great friends. I've also regained my sense of self. I think our society places a huge emphasis on jobs and career. When introduced to someone, I'll bet that "so, what do you do?" is one of the first questions asked in conversation. Back when I was a "working" mom, I could answer that I was in marketing. Before that I was in radio admin, before that it was retail management and before that I was a student. In between some of these stages I also added wife and mother to my titles.

But then I lost my job and I was at a loss as to how to answer that question. I could be honest and say I "do" laundry, grocery shopping, wiping pee off the floors, scooping cat poop and any of the other things on my To Do list that had started to define me. But, I decided to apply the KISS method and reply that I was a stay at home mom.

I can't speak for other moms but for me, "what do you do?" started to feel like a really loaded question. Depending on who was doing the asking, once I answered that I was an at home mom, I started to notice that some people would check out of the conversation right then and there. I could see that moment where suddenly I didn't matter quite as much as I did in the few seconds before I gave my answer when there was still hope that I'd have a conversation worthy career.

And it got worse when the other person asked if you "used to" work and if you went to college. It's as though I've thrown away all my potential just so I can take my kid to practice.There is nothing more humiliating, degrading and demoralizing than to have another person write you off because you stay home with your family.

This blog changed all that. Since I started adding Mom Blogger to my title, people don't disconnect as much anymore. People want to know what I write about and how I like it. They're interested in me. I know I shouldn't need the external validation. It shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks. But I do and it does. I'm more than "just" a mom and this blog has been a way for me to show it. I started this blog as a way to connect with other people, get my thoughts out and use the creative side of my brain that was bored to tears by the endless lists and tasks that the other half was always making. But it has morphed into something much bigger.

It feels strange to say that I’m grateful I lost my job but I am. I really feel that this was the path I was meant to take when I walked out of the office for the last time. Who knows what else is in store for me or what other roles this blog will play. I know it will keep getting better and better and I’m so excited for the journey ahead.

This is my submission to the Mabel's Labels BlogHer 2009 sponsorship. Thank you for your generosity! Good luck to all the participants.

Rules, sponsorship details and how to enter found here.

**ETA: I'm a finalist! I'm having a contest to say thank you for supporting me and my blog. Read the details here.

San Diego Zoo and Wild Animal Park No Longer Allow Outside Food

News spreads fast over the web and bad news spreads even faster. I read a Tweet today from San Diego Bargain Mama that the San Diego Zoo and Wild Animal Park will no longer allow visitors to bring their own food. An article on the San Diego Union Tribune's website quotes park spokesperson Yadira Galindo as saying the policy was brought in because of the number of guests bringing large coolers and bags into the park, which get in the way during the busy season.

The decision is supposed to make park visits more enjoyable for all guests. I do not agree with this decision and not just for financial reasons or because of the current economic climate (though those are definitely big factors).

I try to keep our family eating healthy and most of the options at parks are burgers, fries, greasy pizza and fried chicken fingers. We don't eat those types of meals too often at home, so why should we when we're out? I typically bring fruit, pretzels, sandwiches, crackers, bottled waters and other portable foods that are easy to eat while walking or waiting in line.

And what about the families who are dealing with allergies and special diets? Are they going to need a doctors note to visit? No one in my family has special dietary needs but for me and my son, we need to eat a little something every few hours. When our blood sugar gets low, it gets ugly real fast.

The Zoo and Wild Animal Park do not have lockers, nor do they have picnic areas where families can bring their food and sit either before entering the park or during their visit. Schlepping back to car to eat a meal has zero appeal for me, but I forsee a lot of tailgating and parking lots littered with trash.

For my family, we generally end up spending some of the money we save by bringing our own food on special treats like ice cream, a souvenir, feeding the giraffes or the Skyfari. Those things would certainly not be an option anymore. And how do I tell my son he has to choose between eating and riding on the double decker bus?

My son's school switched from a year round schedule to a traditional, which means loooong summer breaks. Up until now I'd argue that a Zoo/Wild Animal Park membership is one of the best values in San Diego. I was planning to renew our membership so we'd have more options on things to do this summer but now I'm not so sure.

Between the membership, gas to get to the parks, the parking fee at the Wild Animal Park and at least one of the extras, it's definitely an investment for a one-income family. Let's hope the park takes our concerns to heart and comes up with a solution we can all live with.

*This story also posted on San Diego Mommy Spot with a discussion thread in the forums.

For Your Listening Pleasure

I LOVE these guys. One of my best friends from high school does PR for Venice and is one of the founders of their non-profit project, Artist for the Arts. AFTA partners the Venice boys with corporate sponsors, musicians and schools.

All the money from ticket sales goes to keeping arts programs in schools, which is so important because those programs are almost always the first to be cut when school's are facing budget issues (and aren't they always?!)

I have yet to make it one of the benefits but the next show on the 27th is in my hometown. I can visit my mom, see a great show and deduct it on my taxes.

*wheels are turning* This is one of my favorite Venice songs.

Sick Day Part Deux

I'm actually feeling much better (thanks for all the get well wishes!) but now I'm even more behind on household stuff and my contributor posts etc. etc. so today is a catch up day. Go visit these fine folks instead.

How do you feel about Jon and Kate Plus 8? Really real reality TV or shamelessly sell-outistic? (Yep, made that word up just now) Go read why Tena at My Therapy is no longer watching (me too).

Braja lives in India. Braja talks about what it's really like to live in India. Braja takes great pictures of India. One more time: India.

Auds at Barking Mad on the mom who gave birth to eight babies. Give her another Amen from me.

And meet Steph's latest knitting project, Septy The Septopus.

I should be back on Monday. Until then,


Delicious photo from here with many, many thanks.

Wordles Wednesday: Proud As A Peacock

Photos taken here
For more Wordless Wednesday visit 5 Minutes for Mom, Mom Dot, What's That Smell

Takin' A Sick Day

I feel like crap. I'll be back when my eyeballs stop pulsing and my sinuses don't feel like they're going to explode.

Here's a few posts I read over the weekend that have stuck with me:

Casey talks about self acceptance, inner demons and doughnuts.

Kelly from Don Mills Diva challenges us to stand up to journalists and "mainstream" media and force them to take bloggers and their writing seriously.

Bakerella does it again with a stunning Valentine's Day box.

Label Daddy BlogHer 2009 Sponsorship Opportunity

I know so many people, myself included, who want to go to BlogHer this year and can't afford all the costs. MomDot and Label Daddy have partnered to give away five sponsorships. Generosity like that deserves a little publicity! Click the logo to go to MomDot for rules and how to enter.