Breast Cancer Awareness Month: Talkin About My Boobs

**Warning: There's a picture in this post**

I sent out a Tweet yesterday about my boobs. I was lamenting their size and how ungainly they can be. Big boobs are not all they're cracked up to be. Sometimes I'm baffled by how much money women will spend to be the size I am.

I'm sure I have people flipping off their monitors right now, but hear me out. I have to wear shirts in size medium (or even large) but my waist is a small so I look boxy rather than curvy. I have no torso so it seems my boobs rest on top of my belt line. I'm always worried my bra gives me back fat.

Button down shirts almost always gape. My strapless foundation garments feel like they're made with rebar. I can't wear certain bathing suit tops. I can't sleep on my stomach. The girls get in the way when I'm shooting pool.

Big boobs can really be a pain in the ass.

However.

No matter how much they annoy me at times or how much I wish they had some of the perk of my pre-breastfeeding days, my boobs are healthy. They are not riddled with cancer cells. I'm not considering having them removed as a preemptive measure. I'm not facing reconstructive surgery. I'm not mourning the loss of my sense of feminism and womanhood.

The mini scare I had a year ago with my first mammogram has stayed with me. Getting that phone call was one of the worst moments of my life. I hope none of you ever experience that. My boobs are healthy. And I am so grateful.