It's hard watching Tyler struggle with self confidence and being brave. On the one hand, he's recently asked me to help him become famous. On the other, he gets stage fright sometimes. He loves roller coasters but doesn't want to try the "big kid" ramp at the skate park. 

We try to be encouraging without patting him on the back for every little thing he does. The "everybody gets a star" mentality has ruined kids' abilities to take constructive criticism and have pride in their own accomplishments. But, it's hard not to give in occasionally when I see Tyler falter. 

I babysat last week and had 4 kids at the house. It didn't rain after all (thank you Jesus!) so I made them go outside. The kids had scooters and I moved my car so they could roll down the driveway. The other little boy, "Joe," is younger than Tyler, shorter and seems to be naturally athletic. He's been taking skateboard lessons locally and can do tricks Tyler hasn't learned yet. "Joe" suggested they use the driveway as a ramp and then jump off the curb. He went down over and over, catching pretty good air and landing without ending up on the ground. 

Tyler started to go several times but backed out at the last minute saying he was going too fast. "Joe" was trying to be encouraging, showing Tyler how to do it and where to jump. Tyler took it as criticism and I could see the beginnings of a sulk. I debated with myself as to whether I should step in and be encouraging or if I'd make it worse. Tyler went inside and I followed. He saw me and then came the beginnings of tears. 

"Talk to me, what's wrong?"

"He's making fun of me because I can't do the jump."

"No, he's trying to be helpful, I think you're just taking it the wrong way."

I reminded him that "Joe" started skateboarding before Tyler and that he's a full head taller than "Joe", which means he's heavier and has a different center of gravity.

"You may not be able to do it his way, but you can figure out your own way."

That seemed to help and Tyler went back outside. They abandoned the driveway for awhile and raced up and down the street instead. We had lunch and I sent them back out (we'd already had one nearly broken picture frame, a Darth Vader helmet to the nose and wood floors vs. sock feet; they were too amped to be inside!).

I had a feeling Tyler would want to try the jump again. And I was right. It took him a few tries, but he did it. And then it was like he'd known how to do it all along.

"Did you see that mom?! I totally nailed it! This is SO much fun!"

I guess my pep talk worked after all. Perhaps a little too well?

Look What Texas Holly Made Me Do!

"If I don't stop shopping, I'll end up a bag lady: a Fendi bag lady, but a bag lady..." - Carrie, Sex and the City

When I was in Chicago for the Housewares show, I finally got to meet Holly of June Cleaver Nirvana. She had the cutest yellow handbag that we oohed and aahed over.

Being the obsessive person that I am, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I had to have a yellow bag too. Yellow is supposedly one of the colors for spring, along with turquoise. I love jewel tones. I am weak. The result:

Isn't it fab! I love it. I found it at TJ Maxx and used a gift card I've been hanging on to. It was the inside that sold me.

And, since two is better than one, I bought this at Target:

I'm ready for spring (and summer!) What about you? Who's twisted your arm lately and what did you buy?

Wordless Wednesday: International Housewares Show in Purple

I have more purple pictures on Flickr. 

*Attending the Housewares show was a sponsored trip. Hoover provided airfare, travel, accommodations and a meal. I wasn't asked to photograph any brand. An brand name in shots is coincidental. Thank you Hoover and Current for the opportunity!

I Hope She Can Take A Joke

Yesterday, Tyler and I went to the card store for his great-grandmother's birthdays. I let him choose the ones he wanted to give. 

Inside reads: "It's too late for that!"

Let's hope Gramma has her sense of humor on when she opens it!

National Mom's Nite Out San Diego: Save the Date

I can't believe it's time to plan the Mom's Nite Out party again! Last year's event was a lot of fun. I'm hoping to find another great location as well as bring in some great sponsors for the swag bags and door prizes. I have a Mom's Nite page on Facebook that I'll keep current with information. I'm actively looking for sponsors. If you've worked with a great company or brand you think would be a good fit, please let me know.

Thursday, May 6th, 2010

Location TBA

Time: Should be 6:00-9:00pm

If you're in San Diego, I hope you can make it!

Conflicted: When Business and Home Collide

My little man has inherited his mother's Gift of Gab. The kid starts talking as soon as his feet hit the floor in the morning. Unfortunately, Chatty Patty is getting in a little bit of trouble at school. We've talked with him about it. Hopefully it's sinking in that disrupting the class is not OK. 

Tonight is Open House at school. I also have an event I agreed to before the date for the open house was set. I feel that I need to go to school to set up a meeting with Tyler's teachers. He's also really looking forward to showing us his PowerPoint presentation (is anyone else's kid doing PowerPoint in second grade?!). 

I want his teacher to know that we're involved parents. I also want Tyler to know we're proud of him. But, this event is a good networking opportunity. It's hosted by a really good local ad agency and there are several people working there I'd like to meet. 

I don't know why, but now that I'm home, it feels harder to juggle all my roles. I decided to stay home to be more available to my family and to make our lives less chaotic. But, the more involved I get in social media, the more opportunities I have and I'm spending more time trying to (hopefully) create a business.

I feel stuck in the middle. Should I be a good mom and go to Open House or think of my professional goals and go to the event?

What would you do?

Neediness and Accolades

I've said before that external validation matters to me. I know it shouldn't, but it does. It's a hurdle I face almost daily. It's not necessarily what other people think of me, or whether they like me, but more about whether I'm noticed. That sounds incredibly egotistical but I don't mean it to be. When I say noticed, I guess I actually mean "do I matter."

Does it matter to anyone that I did two loads of laundry today? Does it matter that I got caught up on my emails? Has anyone noticed the bathroom sinks are clean? That I made the bed? I went to the store for orange juice, milk and bread so we wouldn't run out. Etc. etc. etc. 

It's needy and insecure. I know that. I wasn't this bad before I became a SAHM (at least I don't think so). When I was working, I could expect feedback from my co-workers and bosses. Good or bad, at the end of the day, I knew where I stood. 

Now that I'm home, I still need that feedback. When I get a, "the house looks great," or "hey, key lime yogurt, thanks mom!" I know that what I've done and the time I've taken to do it, has been noticed. The same goes for this blog. For the most part, I'm OK with the traffic and lack of comments. I have to earn those. 

But it's so nice to be recognized by your peers, and even better when those peers are some of the best in their fields. I put a lot of effort into this site. I think about it more than I should. It's so nice to have someone say that what I do here matters.

I want to thank the people from InflunceSD for the recognition. It means a lot to me and I can say with all honesty it's an honor just to be nominated. I'm in excellent company too, which makes it even sweeter.

Thank you!

My First Library Card: A Proud Mama Moment

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. ~Groucho Marx

I love to read and so does Phil. Before we got pregnant we talked about wanting our future kids to love it as well. Tyler has had his own library since he was an infant. We still have some of my Dr. Seuss books on his bookshelf. When I was younger, my mom would take me to the book store for the latest Sweet Valley High book and I'd finish it by the end of the day. She'd jokingly-but-kinda-not tell me to slow. it. down. At the time, I couldn't figure out why she'd want me not to read. But now that Tyler is flying through chapter books, I totally get it. Our reading addiction isn't cheap!

So, I took Tyler to the library and he got his own library card. Of course I was a proud mama but more so because HE was proud to have his own card and thinks it's a big responsibility. He keeps his card in his wallet. He reminds me when his books are due.

It's been great introducing him to some of the same books I read when I was his age. We go to the used library book store since kids books are usually .25 or .50. It's a habit I'm happy to indulge, although it's strange having to tell him, "alright, enough reading, turn off the light and go to bed already!"

What are you doing to encourage reading at your house? 

 

*Sorry for the crap cell phone photos

Wordless Wednesday: Crazy Hair Day

Disney World: Tips for First Time Visits part 2

*This is the second part of our post on tips for people planning their first trip to Walt Disney World. Read the first part here.

5) Use the Disney Mom Panel advice. Research the different hotels in your price range. The Port Orleans Riverside is not the same as the Port Orleans French Quarter. Take into account location and transportation hubs. The Polynesian, Grand Floridian, and Contemporary sit in prime locations, with water taxis, monorail, and bus service. You can walk from the Contemporary to one park. Animal Kingdom Lodge on the other hand has only bus service. Not necessarily a deal breaker, but something to consider when planning your days. Some resorts offer convenience and modern amenities while others focus on charm and immersion in themes.

6) Use the Key to the World. Having your room key as a charge card, fast pass, and park ticket all in one is tremendous. This conceivably allows you to leave everything else in the wall safe and just carry that and your I.D. We had a bunch of American Express and Visa gift cards [to use for out of pocket expenses], but keeping track of the different cards and their balances was a pain. Using the room key to cover all charges and then using the different gift cards to pay the final balance at the end was a great help. To illustrate how awesome the dining plan is again, the final bill for a 7 day stay was about $170. This was mostly from gratuities on the sit down meals, with a few souvenirs and adult beverages thrown in. The dining plan virtually guarantees you won't be buying [a lot of] food out of pocket.

Anyone else remember the commercial jingle?

We cashed in our credit card reward points for a pre-paid Visa and combined it with Christmas presents, some pre-paid Visas I won and one with a leftover balance from Tastemakers and took all them with us for our out of pocket expenses. Combined with the Disney gift cards we got from the Vacation Club presentation and we had about $700 to use (and came home with almost all of it). 

It took a few days for Phil to think of this, but we started charging everything to our room. Hot chocolate, the tips on our sit down meals, the hats and scarves we bought because it freezing. It was nice not to have to keep track of cash or the balances on the various cards. The key is this (and it's important!): you MUST settle those charges the night BEFORE you are to check out or they will automatically go onto the card you used to reserve the trip! 

We stopped into the hotel lobby on the way back from a late dinner and took care of it. The most money we spent out of pocket was in the airports on breakfasts and Starbucks. If you have any means of earning pre-paid cards, answering emails or taking surveys and buying cards with that money I highly suggest it.

7) Plan your trip carefully on the website. The website is very helpful, but there are some snags with it. Two [things] that bothered me the most were the itinerary function, and the initial booking function. You have to be very careful when booking your trip because there are several defaults in the system. 

When you pick your initial date, number of people, and hotel range, it will kick out a recommended package. This is when you can go in and change options around such as dining plan, room choice, and ticket options. Be careful, because when you select an option for one thing, it may effect other categories you didn't intend. 

For instance, the default ticket option gives you the park hopper and water park. If you select a dining plan, it resets that option to the base ticket, which is what comes with the dining plan. The itinerary function is just buggy. I had a hard time making and editing notes. I wanted to keep dining reservations there, but it was difficult, and didn't always display right. Also, the printout isn't as functional as it could be.

Hollywood Studios stunt show

8) Make dinner reservations. Early. If you don't have reservations when you start your trip, you aren't getting in to any restaurant during peak hours. Period. If you find yourself without reservations, your best bet is to hit the place right when it opens for lunch or dinner. If you try at noon or 6 without reservations you can forget it. The resort restaurants are less crowded then the park ones, so you may have better luck there.

This is definitely necessary but leaves little room for flexibility because reservations need to made at least 180 days before your trip! Say you're in Magic Kingdom waiting in a 90-minute line for Space Mountain. You have 6:00 reservations for dinner at Animal Kingdom. You have to be very aware of your time, factor in travel times around the park and be prepared to give up your fast passes.

If you're late, your reservation is gone. If you make a reservation plan on being in that park for the day. There were a few times we didn't want to leave where we were. We also had some rain that we didn't feel like venturing out into but didn't want to lose the chance to eat at the various place in the park (there's some awesome food at Disney!)

Phil originally had eight tips but I wanted to add one item.

9) Check, re-check and check the weather again. We had a freak cold because of the snow the east got. We were under dressed and not prepared. I was at the conference on the day it poured and Phil wasn't sure where to go to spend a rainy day. We didn't know there was a movie theater in Downtown Disney and we hadn't gone to Epcot yet and didn't know about Innoventions either. It's easy to kill about 2 hours there. The couches for tired parents are a welcome bonus. Have a back up plan for weather.

What Do You Dream Of? {a guest post}

Greetings from Chicago! I'm on a quick trip to the International Housewares show. Please welcome guest poster Breanne from Bella Vita. She's a new mom, new to blogging, a Lost fan and was a contestant on Jeopardy. Her daughter is as cute as a bug!

Nothing Happens Unless First We Dream- Carl Sandberg

Hi, Mel A Dramatic Mommy readers! Thanks so much to Melanie for the chance to guest blog for her! My name’s Breanne, and my blog is Bella Vita—“beautiful life” in Italian. I am an optimistic person who believes life is inherently beautiful, and I’m also the proud momma of a little girl named Bella. 

As a woman still trying to adjust to life as mom, I’ve been thinking a lot about goals, ambitions, and dreams over these first seven months of my daughter’s life. Of course, I’ve thought a lot about my dreams for my baby girl. For her to be smart, funny, loving, generous, healthy, and most of all, happy. 

Will she want to be a scientist? An actress? A writer, like her mommy? Or maybe she’ll want to be something brand-new, that hasn’t even been created yet. Had my mom heard the word “blogger” when I was born in the eighties? Nope.

In the midst of all these thoughts about my dreams for Bella, I thought a lot about my dreams for myself as well. I can’t lie: the first few weeks were so overwhelming to me because of my baby’s sleep issues that it honestly felt like I would never be able to write again.

But of course, that wasn’t true. She adjusted to the big, new world, and my husband and I adjusted to her. So after a few weeks—okay, months—I was once again able to devote a little time to other goals and aspirations I have for my life: the things that I wish for myself. 

Over these past few months, as I’ve really thought about what I want to do, what I want to be, I've come to realize that many people actually have at least two major ideas about what they want to be, two types of goals for their lives. The first is the more “realistic” one, the one that has some foundation in what you went to school for, or the career path you’re already on. But the second is the wild and out-there dream, the one you may keep to yourself if you’re not brave enough to share it, the one you might be afraid people would laugh at. 

So many people I know and love have both types of dreams. My friend Sarah is currently in med school and wants to be a family practice doctor; if she could, she would also love to be a Christian missionary to Africa. Another friend, Kristi, majored in biology and wants to work at a zoo or aquarium. However, I suspect that she just might be happiest if she were in her other dream job: a waitress on a beach—preferably in Aruba. My husband has the dual dreams, too. He’s in public works in the small Midwestern town we live in, and someday, he’d like to achieve more of a management role in his field. But he’s said to me before that sometimes he wishes he’d gone to culinary school. He’s a fantastic cook, and I know he’d love working as a chef. 

So what are mine? Well, I work hard on growing my blog and making it meaningful; I also work on my fiction, with several short stories and a novel in progress, so ultimately, I want to be a published writer. My crazy dream? I want to own my own bakery. The awesome, work-of-art cake type of bakery. Wedding cakes, celebration cakes, sculpted cakes. I’d make them all, and they’d all be beautiful. 

In reality, I’ve just started exploring this as a new hobby, but in my dream, I have my own successful bakery business, and when my daughter is older, she’ll come visit me after school and help me make the cakes. I have such a clear picture of this in my head, and in a strange way, it means as much to me as the pictures in my head of my successful writing career. 

What about all of you? What are your more grounded dreams, and what are your wildest dreams? I'd love to hear them.

What We Learned From Our First Trip To Disney World (part 1)

*This post got really long so I'm splitting it into two parts. We weren't asked to do this and aren't getting anything for posting about it. 

Going to Disney World for the first time was a little overwhelming and was definitely a learning experience. During the trip we talked about what we'd do differently if we were to plan it all over again. Phil was nice enough to type his observations out for me. I cleaned up a few spelling and grammar errors but copied it directly from his email. My editorial is in purple (natch).

Here are my [eight] lessons learned from the trip. Your mileage may vary.

Animal Kingdom

1) Research the Disney Vacation Club ahead of the trip. There will be plenty of opportunities to purchase it while you are there, but if it's something you really are interested in [pursuing], it only makes sense to get it before you go and immediately cash in your points for the trip. You can also purchase it for less then you would at the parks from re-sellers. This leads into number two.

There are a ton of opportunities to listen to the vacation club presentation. We had time to kill between checking out of the Polynesian and into the Port Orleans and the gift cards were a bonus. We had no intention of signing up. We did join while we were there but then un-joined for several reasons. Buying from re-sellers has its own risks. If you really want to know the details I'll be happy to email you about it. 

2) Research your hotel. Not all are created equal. Based off of a 7 day stay in April for a family of two adults and one kid, Economy is $2133, Moderate $2668, Deluxe Villa $3680, and Deluxe resort $4558. The moderate is only $76 a day more than the economy, with the deluxe resort is running $345 a day more then the economy. The deluxe resort gives you the queen bed standard which is a must for two adults sharing a bed. The moderate comes with the double size standard, which is tough to accommodate two adults. 

We slept in separate beds and Tyler was on the pull out on the floor at the Port Orleans. Phil is over six feet tall. A double bed is hard enough for him let alone both of us. Tyler slept with me for the last three nights. He kicks. 

Epcot

The deluxe obviously is much nicer in several other areas, such as size, and amenities. I think moderate is the way to go however for bang for the buck (having only seen the moderate and deluxe resort, not sure what the others would rate). The economy is located pretty far south on the property so will increase your travel times, and it doesn't have the fridge standard which cuts down on your ability to keep leftovers and things like milk, etc.. This leads to three.

3) Get the dining plan. Using the above scenario, a mid level dining plan tacks on an extra $309. This is huge [in terms of savings]. The dining plans come in 3 levels. Lowest gives you 2 quick meals a day and a base 7 day ticket. mid level gives you the ticket plus 1 snack, 1 quick meal, and 1 sit down meal a day per person. Highest level gives you the ticket, plus 3 meals a day (sit down or quick) plus a souvenir refill mug and choice of accommodations. The mid level is again how I would choose. At a cost of $44 a day, this deal is incredible. An average sit down meal for a family of 3 will run $80. The quick meal for that family is around $30, and 3 snacks would run you between $7.50 and $12.00 dollars. So $44 is getting you about $130 worth of food.

The lowest plan I don't like because it doesn't offer sit down meals. Quick meals are fine once a day, but you can't survive on pizza and burgers for a week. The highest plan is just too much food, and the souvenir mug is wasted. This is the smartest way to use your quick meals: everyone has a large breakfast. This gets you the fuel for the day. 

The breakfast at a moderate hotel is huge, and each meal comes with two beverages, so it's perfect to grab an OJ for breakfast and a bottle of water or soda for later. Eat a small lunch at the parks, or rather skip it entirely and use your snacks to get some fruit or a pretzel. Use your sit down meal for a large dinner. The amount of food they give you is huge.
 

He looked like this pretty much the whole trip. Priceless.

I wish the plan had a little more flexibility. Dessert came with every meal. We don't eat sweets that often. The money we spent out of pocket came from adding a soup onto the meal. I would much rather have had the option to choose an appetizer OR dessert, not just dessert. We had a fridge full of cheesecake and brownies at the end of our stay. 

I also would have liked more snacks, for the same reason Phil described. We ate huge breakfasts and weren't really hungry for lunch but we had to share pretzels and fruit (rather than each getting their own) to space the snacks out and we still used them all before the week was up. On the day we left for home, Phil and Tyler were out waiting for the shuttle to the airport and I was in the hotel cafeteria using the last of our meal plan for sandwiches and drinks to tide us over in the airport. The dining plan gives A LOT of food. 
 

4) For stays of 7 days or longer, forget the park hopper. Definitely get the water park one if you're in the right season though. Realistically if you have enough time to hit each park once then a few days to re-visit your favorites, there is no need to park hop. It takes time to hop, as there are no buses going between parks. You'll have to transit from the park you are in, to a resort, then from that resort to the park you want to go to. Also, with fast passes on the best rides usually running out later in the day, you may hop to find out there is a 2 hour wait for the ride you want, and no fast passes available. The water park option also includes Disney Quest and golf, so it is worth the money if you plan on doing any of those three.

Part two with tips 5-9 coming soon.

Rockin' The Red Pumps Again for HIV/AIDS Awareness

Today is National Womens and Girl's HIV/AIDS Awareness Day

How will you talk to your kids about sex?

I read Tanis' post about talking to her teens about sex and some of the comments (read the one from Charles) have really stuck with me. Tyler is only seven but I know the questions are going to start coming. I dread it, but know it's necessary and important. My parents didn't talk about sex. I learned in school and from friends. There weren't too many adults who were willing to have an honest discussion and relied on the abstinence or waiting until you're in love speeches. 

In doing a little research* for this post (for the Red Pump Project), the articles I came across on teens and their attitudes toward sex made me sad. They seem to be taking it so casually. The idea that oral sex isn't "really" sex and "only" doing that means you're still a virgin seems so absurd to me but from what I've read, that's what they're thinking.

I don't want to be vague with Tyler. But I don't want to be "too" honest if there is such a thing. I want him to grow up respecting women and respecting himself enough to make good decisions. As much as I'd love to think he'll wait until college (at the minimum!) I know we have to be realistic. I hope that knowing his father is the first person I slept with and that I only need one hand to count my sexual partners shows him sex wasn't something I took lightly.

And, as a black woman I need to make sure he understands that, statistically speaking, we're under attack and contracting and dying from HIV faster than other racial groups.

I'm Rocking the Red Pump today to show my support, further education and help inspire and empower women to not be a statistic. 

*One of the best sites I came across for teens is Sex, Etc.

Marketing to Mom Bloggers: What Not to Do

I've been cleaning up my dashboard, getting rid of posts I started but never finished, and came across this one from almost one year ago today. It's amazing we're still talking about stats, what they mean and how companies should do their own initial research. I wonder how many PR and marketing firms are actually listening? The successful campaigns seem to be the exception, not the rule.

I left a long, kind of angry comment on a marketing blog recently and I feel badly for taking over the conversation. The post is directed at PR people and focuses on what mom's who blog would like PR people to know about working with us. Rohit lists some excellent points as did others in the comments section. His post touched a nerve and brought back a bad memory for me. This is my comment, copied and pasted in full:

"Very good points! Another stumbling block I run into is companies who only want to play "the numbers game." Please don't assume that just because our numbers haven't made it to the level of other bloggers, that our opinions aren't just as valid. I would much rather read a review from someone who had a real, legitimate need for a product over someone who was given the opportunity just because they have 'X' number of subscribers or 'X' number of unique visits per day. Also, please consider that someone who does a lot or reviews and giveaways may have big numbers, but not a very engaged audience (people who only subscribe and comment for the giveaway for example).

I had a company agree to work with me on a brand-new site I contribute to. There was no free product involved, just a feature in an article I was putting together. When the PR person asked for the site stats I was very honest that the site had only been live for less than two months and that we were trying to build a readership and had not started using any analytics features because it was too early. I never heard from her again. Needless to say, I now have a very poor image of her, her company and their product and can't see myself buying from them let alone offering to include them in a national event I have coming up that they might be a really good fit for. Can you say, burned bridge?! Sorry to hijack your comments with my rant but this still really upsets me!"

I still refuse to give this company any of my money and won't recommend them for business or personal occasions. Small isn't synonymous with non-influential.

Do you feel bloggers and PR/companies have made any progress toward working better together in the past year?

And Now He Wants to be a Pilot Too: Wordless Wednesday

Music Soothes: Living With the Decision Not to Have Another Baby

*Giveaway info at the bottom of the post. Read it carefully! 

I love music. I get it from my dad. He's a big music buff used to have the reel to reel or record player going all the time, mostly with Motown. I love how, in an instant, a song can hit you in the gut and take you somewhere, even if it's to a place you don't want to be. Sade's new CD, Soldier of Love, and the Babyfather single has been on repeat in my iTunes lately. The lyrics made me cry a few days ago, reminding me of a sacrifice we made that still hurts every now and then.

I’m stunned

In a daze

He had the whole street set ablaze

It’s only love they say

Makes you feel this way

Our decision not to have another baby was several years in the making. We didn't make it lightly (who does?) and it's one I'm still struggling with. Sometimes, like on our trip to Orlando, I'm fine with it. Smug even. Watching other parents struggle to fold up their strollers to get them on the shuttles, the giant diaper bags, dodging strollers in the parks or getting hit in the back of the heels by one all gave me a sense of relief that those days are behind me. Three cheers for having a kid who can wipe his own butt, tie his shoes, carry his own jacket and stand in lines until almost midnight so we can ride Space Mountain two times in a row.

But other times, knowing we're not going to have another takes the wind right out of my sails. All the babies at Blissdom, the pregnant moms in my feed reader, the man at the park embracing his pregnant wife from behind, both with their hands on her stomach. Woosh!

She liked his eyes she wanted more

The baby gonna have your smile for sure

He saw a lovely girl

Smelling sweet and soapy like fresh air

She saw him looking acted like she didn’t care

I know Tyler would be an awesome big brother. At the end of his daycare days, he was one of the oldest kids there. The woman running the program would tell  me stories of Tyler trying to cheer up the younger kids when they were crying and offering to help with snack time. When Bossy and I were walking Chicago after BlogHer, I told her about the time last summer when I watched Tyler sit on the curb outside our house. He had his elbows on his knees and his chin in his hands. He sat there for almost 10 minutes, scanning the street, hoping some other kid would walk by and they could play together. I cried telling Bossy that story. I told her I felt like I took something away from him and he had no say in it.

And Phil is such a great dad. I'm a typical Daddy's Little Girl. I have the type of relationship with my dad that often made my mom jealous. It was the blind adoration that did it. I feel the same way sometimes when Tyler will say, "I miss Dad" when I pick him up from school or the way he runs to greet Phil at the door when I can barely get a hello sometimes. I totally get where she was coming from. Even though there's no guarantee we'd have a girl, the thought of Phil and little girl together makes me all warm and gooshy on the inside. I know he'd love to have his own Daddy's Little Girl too.

Even to the angels it may sound like a lie

For you child

He was the troops and extra backup standing by

For you child

For you he’s the best he can be

For you child

For you he’s the best he can be

Oh child don’t you know

Your daddy love come with a lifetime guarantee

All of this has me so conflicted. Add the grief I get from my mom now and then and it's even harder. I'm not sure how much longer it will take for me to be at peace with the decision, or if I ever will. But, I can always listen to music. It really does soothe the soul.

What music is moving you lately?

The giveaway: I have another copy of Soldier of Love for you. I'm so glad Sade is back on the music scene. This is a great CD.






I'm hosting the giveaway on Twitter. DO NOT leave a comment here! Tweet this message or create your own but it has to have the hashtag for me to track.

RT to win a copy of Sade's CD Soldier of Love from @ADramaticMommy. http://bit.ly/NewSade #SadeCD

Winner chosen at random from all Tweets. You don't have to follow me, but I need to see the hashtag. Giveaway ends on Friday, March 5th at noon Pacific time. I'll announce the winner here and on Twitter. Good luck!

Thanks to Big Honcho Media for the review and giveaway copies. The affiliate link is to Amazon.

Frugal Shoppers: Spread the Coupon Love to Military Families Living Overseas

Coupon clipping isn't new for me, but with my recent forays into serious money saving I find myself with extra supplements and coupons that I don't use (or worse, let expire!). Going through my neighbors' recycle bins has proved very rewarding! Between the circulars and all the coupons I've started getting in the mail I'm overflowing.

I posted on the military commissary section of AFullCup.com offering up my extra circulars and got responses right away. Military families living overseas can use coupons up to six months after they expire (but it's best to send ones that aren't more than 3 months expired to account for overseas delivery). They can go regular postal mail to an FPO/APE address. I crammed as much as I could into a flat rate priority mail envelope and paid $4.95.

If you have access to lots of coupon circulars please consider sending anything you don't use overseas to a military family. There's a really big need and the families are so grateful.This would be a great community service, church or scout badge program. Let me know if you'd like to help and I'll walk you through it.

*Not a sponsored post, just passing along goodwill toward men.

For Phil: Who's A Really Great Dad

My husband is the "fun one" in the family. He can be silly with Tyler, wrestle with him on the floor, and is generally more open to playing than I am. Last night, Tyler asked if they could go out and play Nerf tag. 

Despite still being tired from vacation and spending his day in meetings at work and trying to make a dent in an overflowing Inbox, he said "absolutely" with no hesitation.

I don't tell him often enough how much I appreciate him as a father. 

Thank you honey for being so willing to put on goofy glasses and wear a target on your chest in front of the neighbors! 

xoxo

Hey, Hey, Hey Goodbye!

After nine awesome days, we kiss our first Disney vacation goodbye!

Wordless Wednesday: Epcot Center Through A Child's Eyes

I gave Tyler the camera for a little while today at Epcot. I love seeing thing's through his eyes. There are more of his pictures on Flickr.

Monetizing A Personal Blog 101: Blissdom Wizard of Ads

A few beginner's tips on monetizing a personal blog

All of the panels at Blissdom were awesome and so informative. I'm sure all the panelists could have used and extra hour to give their information. I spoke on the Wizard of Ads panel. Mary Anne had so much info to cover in such a short time, I didn't chime in as often as I wanted to, but I really appreciate how much she let me into the conversation.

Alli and Paula wanted me on the panel to talk about monetizing from a personal blogger's perspective, as it's an entirely different beast than advertising a site (like 5 Minutes for Mom) or niche blog, and it's even more challenging for blogs like mine, which are new and still growing.

If I'd had more time I would have given these examples of my experience in terms of the mistakes I made and things I wished I'd done differently. Hopefully I can help anyone who is just starting out. I think I'll break up the information into more than one post since I want to cover appearance, stats and influence, ad networks, and media kits.

Appearance:

My first layout wasn't practical and didn't meet my needs anymore. It wasn't ad friendly and didn't have the look I wanted so I changes it to the current one. When looking for a template, keep a list of which blogs you currently visit that appeal to you visually and take note of WHY you like them: width of the sidebars, size of the header, the navigation bar, the footers, fonts etc. etc. 

If you're hiring a designer, they will ask you for this information. Give them as many links, screen shots or examples as you can. Find a theme that can accommodate more than one ad size. Then, look online for free themes and templates that match your likes as closely as possible. Before I contacted my designer, I created a test blog and downloaded a few themes so I wouldn't have to worry about screwing up the main blog.

Now that my current layout has been live for awhile it's not working as well as I hoped so I'll be changing it. I'm also going to change my header. I love my header. It's cute and fun. But, as the direction I want with the blog has changed, I know I have to sacrifice cute and fun for practical. The header takes up way too much real estate that I could be using more effectively. Having ad space above the fold is key. My header is eating into that space and my re-design is going to take that into account.

Stats and influence:

As you're growing, it can be a little depressing at times to monitor your stats. But, that's the way the game is played, so be prepared to know yours. Information on our stats is pretty accessible. Having to provide them to a company can seem like doing their research for them. Plus, I think stats can be inflated and aren't an honest measure of influence, but until some other metrics are brought in, you're going to need to them.

I have three different monitoring services: Site Meter, Get Clicky and Google Analytics. You don't need three, but each one offers something a little different and I like to cross reference. Another set of data you should have on hand is demographics. Knowing about your readers can be invaluable when submitting your blog for PR opportunities or reviews. You can create a free survey on sites like Survey Monkey. I did one awhile ago and it was very helpful. 

Being able to tell a marketer that 42% of your readers are women aged 35-45 and 58% have children under the age of 18 will set you apart and establish you as a professional. Your blog is your resume. If you don't have numbers on your side, include any other areas of your life, both online and offline, where you frequently interact with others like guest posting or book club. Don't be afraid to sell yourself!

I'll talk more about ad networks and media kits in a future post. If you want a more detailed account of the Wizard of Ads session, Angela England did a great job taking thorough notes. She has other sessions recapped as well.

Wordless Wednesday: Side View Mirror Sunset

Blissdom 2010 Recap: Blissfully Inspired

What to say about Blissdom? If I only could only use one word it would be fabulawsome. In the airport on the way home, I wore my tiara from the pajama party because I wanted the feeling to last just a little bit longer.

Alli, Paula and Barbara wanted to create a welcoming, comfortable environment and they succeeded in spades. Even in a space as ginormous as the Opryland they managed to make it an intimate experience (seriously, I was having 3 Day flashbacks with all the walking we did!).

Even though I didn't know too many people before the conference, now I feel like I have a whole new circle of friends. It's always so nice to meet the people behind the avatars and blog posts. And can I just say, y'all were an amazingly beautiful and well dressed bunch of women! (Southern nod to Rachel and Robin)

I will have a lot more to say about Blissdom in future posts, but here are a few of my highlights:

*The workshops. I went to Vlogging and Editing, SEO, Advanced Social Media and caught the tail end of Media Training. I got a lot out of all them and hope to put what I learned into practice and make this a better place for you to hang out.

*The opening keynote. Man, did Kevin Carroll knock it out of the ballpark! We laughed, we cried and then laughed some more. I will never look at a soccer, basket or kickball the same way ever again.

*Hanging out with my fellow Tastemakers and watching Jessica showcase her inner cheerleader (someone, please tell me they got that on video!?). The event (the whole experience) was fun and different. I appreciate the chance to participate and embarrass  myself in front of a live audience. Congrats JoLynne and Rachel!

*Getting to see Renee, Danielle, Christine, Stacie, Casey, Audrey, Julie, Melanie, Erin (and her adorable baby!) and so many others again. A virtual hug just isn't the same as a real one.

*My first (but hopefully not last) speaking opportunity. It was slightly out of my comfort zone and all the faces in the audience made me want to faint but I'm so glad I did it. Having people ask me questions at the end of the session was incredibly gratifying.

*Being alone in the hotel hallway with Harry Connick Jr.! He was on his way backstage and I didn't want to bother him, but holy regrets I should have asked for a picture. Listening to him sing wasn't too bad either.

*Finally meeting Redneck Mommy (more on that later, she threatened me, and I liked it).

I learned so much at Blissdom and have so much to think about, both personally and professionally. I must also give a special thank you to Liz Strauss. At the Personal Branding session, she answered my question about bringing more of myself into the blog and her answer smacked me over the head and was exactly what I needed to hear. 

There will be way more Melanie coming out on these pages soon. I hope you'll like her, I hope you'll respect her voice and appreciate her desire for increased authenticity. I hope she doesn't scare you away. But, if she does, she will have to be OK with that. She'd rather lose traffic and followers than to keep losing any more of herself. She learned that at Blissdom too.

Other things I took away:

We are powerful.

We are trendsetters.

We are trail blazers.

We are loyal.

We are experts in our own rights.

We are amazing!

What did you take away from Blissdom?

There are Blissdom recap posts all over the place. JoLynne and Tamara are hosting link ups.Christine has a giant linkfest. There are tons of Flickr photos too, including ones for Annissa. If you feel the need to know about every spectacular moment, search the #blissdom hashtag. Pictures coming soon!

Thank you to everyone who made attending Blissdom possible: To Alli and Barbara for asking me to speak. I am still beyond flattered. To Jessica, Liz and Brittany; Fleishmann-Hillard and the US Potato Board for sending and taking such good care of me!

Blog Stats, Traffic and Followers: The Only Way to Measure Reach?

Are your blog stats holding you back?

A few weeks ago I submitted my blog to be considered for a product testing opportunity. I was really excited because the product is something I feel I need, I can see myself using for more than just its intended purpose and really feel would impact my life greatly.

The PR company sent a survey asking about my traffic, other stats and any accolades I have received. Basically, they wanted to know how popular I am. I submitted my answers and knew I probably won't have a shot at participating. I'm bummed because I know I can give a really thorough review based on the areas I see myself using this product. I've already got several post ideas as to how I would use it. Now I'm not so sure I'll get the chance.

The panel I'm participating in Saturday at Blissdom is about advertising. Working with the other panelists on the presentation got me thinking about blog stats and traffic and how those things are measured. In my mind, blog numbers don't always paint an accurate picture of a person's influence.

So many of us have smaller, personal blogs with low numbers comparatively. But, so many of us are on the PTA, lead girl scouts, are active in our childrens' classrooms, on their sports teams, we volunteer, we have busy social lives, etc. etc. And, if we're active within our social media circle, then there's even more of a chance something we talk about will also be talked about by other influencers. 

I hear so many times that PR and brands want to develop long lasting relationships with us, but the first questions I'm asked are almost always about my stats. It's frustrating and I feel like I'm caught in a vicious circle: my blog isn't big enough for some opportunities but the chance to talk about those opportunities could help my blog grow. I'm not sure what the formula needs to be to include other avenues of influence, but I hope someone figures that out soon.

I'm hoping some of the things I pick up at Blissdom will help me find a way to make the most of the opportunities that do come my way, and open the door to new ones. How have you overcome the stats challenge? What have you done to help you get noticed?

Photo from Google Images and psdgraphics.com

Living With Boys, Never a Dull Moment

Tyler had Martin Luther King day off of school. We got up on Tuesday and started getting his breakfast and lunch ready. He must have still been in vacation mode, not realizing he had school that day, because I came out of the kitchen to tell him his breakfast was ready and saw this:

Love this kid!

Tastemaker Challenge #3 Meals in a Time Crunch

For the third and final Tastemaker 2010 challenge, we were to prepare a meal in 30 minutes or less. I found a Loaded Baked Potato soup recipe to use up all the potatoes I had leftover from the last challenge.

If I make this again I'll only use 3 potatoes instead of 5 and increase the chicken stock to 3 1/2 - 4 cups. The soup went from liquid-y to almost mashed potato consistency after I turned it off as the potatoes soaked up all the moisture. 

Being part of the Tastemaker Challenge was fun. It was a little out of my comfort zone since I'm no chef but I liked looking for the recipes. 

I'm looking forward to our final challenge at Blissdom. If you'll be there please RSVP for the party and make sure you say hello!

Video #1- Potatoes Celebrate National Seafood Month here.

Video #2- Meals on a Budget here.

Video #3- Nutrition in a Time Crunch here.
 

The US Potato Board and Fleishman-Hillard are covering my costs to attend the Blissdom conference and provided money to buy and/or ingredients for the Tastemaker meals.

You Know You're Coupon Crazy When

...this happens and it almost makes you cry.

Tastemaker 2010 Challenge #2: Nutrition on a Budget

Something I've been wanting and needing to do is start menu planning. I'm the type who, come 4 o'clock, is usually still not sure what I'll be serving for dinner. I know that menu planning saves time and money. I know what I'm supposed to be doing, I just haven't had the motivation to do it.

Since my first real experience using coupons and grocery store circulars, I'm feeling more confident about how to shop and maximize savings so menu planning seems like the next logical step. In my second Tastemaker video, I talk a little bit about how I plan to get started as well as make a recipe using some featured sale items from this week's Vons circular.

The recipe is from Rachel Ray. I changed mine slightly, omitting the sour cream, heavy cream and carrots. 

A few other Tastemaker notes:

*If you are going to be at Blissdom, please RSVP for the Tastemaker Showdown Party and say hello. I need all the support I can get!

*View the new video and the first, Ideas for a Movie Night themed party on You Tube.  Don't forget to rank the videos with five stars please!

*Get to know the other Tastemaker Challengers, view recipes and learn about potato nutrition on the Mom's Dinner Helper site.

The US Potato Board provided a stipend for supplies to make my recipe and are covering my expenses for the Blissdom conference. Thank you Fleishman-Hillard for being so beyond patient!

I Thrive Under Pressure (I Hope)

Let's hope the second and third wind I used to get when I was a working mom kicks into high gear soon.

-I will most likely have to re-shoot part of my Tastemaker video.

-I still have one more video to make.

-Blissdom is right around the corner.

-I still need to arrange after school childcare for Tyler for while I'm away.

-Our family vacation is right after that.

-I still need to arrange for cat sitting while we're away.
-Said cat shit on the carpet this morning.
-I used the Spot Bot and promptly spilled the dirty water back into the carpet.
-I'm taking Tyler to the doctor shortly because the side of his neck is swollen and tender to the touch since yesterday.



The pressure is on, but I can take it. How has your day been so far?