I want to do another more thorough wrap up but I had to get this off my chest. This is in response to some of the sanctimonious, preachy things I've been reading about BlogHer and the parties.

A few weeks ago I made a phone call I was a little nervous to make because I wasn't sure how it would be received. A year ago after BlogHer '09 I was invited to work with a company (along with many others), but haven't because I didn't see myself well represented in their products. I had asked questions and requested more information but wasn't getting much of a response. This call, to the marketing director, was a last ditch effort of sorts. If I got a good response, the conversation went well and I felt I was really being heard, I'd make more of an effort and would feel good about the partnership.

I made the call and felt much better about the company and the brand afterward. I gave my honest opinion (hopefully not in a mean way) and voiced my concerns. I got an honest answer, not marketing bullshit. I appreciate that. It goes along way. I told myself I'd get more involved, see where things go and continue to push for a change I really feel was needed.

Fast forward to the pre-BlogHer scheduling craziness. I saw that this company would be at BlogHer again. Not only that, but I had invites to both places they would be. I take this as a sign. Now I will have an opportunity to talk face to face, look at new products and offer myself up for any future consulting on products for women of color.

Front lobby of their new offices

I had my first chance to meet with the people from e.l.f. on Friday morning at Getting Gorgeous. I asked if the marketing director was there, introduced myself and thanked her for her time on the phone. We chatted some more, she game me some material to look over and showed me some of the products. Again, I appreciated the conversation.

When it was my turn to get my makeup done, I told Kim, one of the e.l.f. makeup artists, a little bit of my story. Kim is a black woman and is fairly new to the company. She agreed with my perspective and asked if she could pass along my comments to the company president. I gave her my card.

New items plus the XBox Kinect

My next opportunity came at their sponsored party; Glamour and Games. This time, I got to speak with the creative director too. By now, I can tell that my concerns are being heard. I'm being taken seriously. How often does one get the chance to have the ear of top people at a company?* I definitely felt this was my opportunity to be the unofficial spokesperson for other women of color and I couldn't let it go by. Kim did my make up again, and I asked if she would use the mineral power since it was something I planned to order and I wasn't sure which shade to buy.

She chose Dark, which is what I would have ordered. Can you guess where this is going? It was ALL wrong. Instead of the matte coverage mineral foundation is supposed to give, I looked like I had reddish-pink blush all over my face. Kim called the marketing director over.

"See? This is what I've been trying to tell you. Black skin has so many different undertones. This has way too much red in it."

Now I know I have to order Dark and Warm and mix the two. I would not have even thought of doing that on my own. Not only did I get to tell people from e.l.f. that I haven't taken advantage of any of their offers because I was too unsure of how their products would look on my skin, they got to see it firsthand. 

I was impressed with the variety

If I had ordered the Dark and put it on at home with those results, (especially given my previous frustration) I would have written them off entirely. Would I have told others why I didn't use their products? Would I have sent out a frustrated Tweet or email? Who knows. But they would have lost me for good.

So yes, I was at a parties when I could have been in sessions or listening to closing keynotes. But, if listening to my concerns and seeing how awful my face looked with their product on it is even a small catalyst for change within e.l.f., (or better yet, gives Kim the opportunity to develop the line for women of color that she wants to do) then it was totally worth it for me.

YOU may not have had an interest in the sponsored parties but there's no reason to look down your nose at those who did. Not everyone goes to a conference for the same reasons. Since the conference ended I've read too many posts about what I should and should not have been doing at BlogHer. How dare I enjoy New York! There's learning to be done! MYOB.

I'm not here to police anyone. I won't tell anyone how they should spend their time at an event they used their own money to attend. It's not up to me to determine what value anyone gets by attending a conference. We all have our reasons for going to BlogHer (or any conference) and they're all different. That's supposed to be part of the beauty of blogging! Celebrating our differences! How sad that, immediately after an event that is supposed to inspire, educate and empower our community some people can only judge.

You do you and I'll do me, agreed?

*Social media has made us think we always have someone's attention. Most companies, if they're doing it right, are monitoring what we say but how many are willing to take action before it becomes damage control? 

Thank you to e.l.f. and XBox for hosting!

I Will: Be More of a Yes Mom

Tyler and I were at Henry's a few weeks ago getting supplies for dinner. He asked if I would buy a pack of mini blueberry muffins. I said no, we have mix at home, we can make them. His response stayed with me. It wasn't what he said, "you always say that," it was how he said it. He sounded so resigned and a little defeated. Then I lost my Mom of the Year hat because I totally turned it around on him. "Well, you can always offer to help me make them." 

Why did I say that?! It was a knee jerk reactionary and passive aggressive statement. It's not like he was accusing me of being a horrible mom in the middle of the grocery store (though that must be how I took it since I basically blamed him for the lack of fresh baked goods in our house). I felt horrible after I said it. Who blames the 7-year old for not offering to bake?

I thought about what he said for the rest of the day. He's totally right. I do always say we can make muffins but rarely follow through. It's just muffins. And not even homemade ones.* Why is it so hard for me to give him something so simple? I resolved to be a different mom for the rest of the summer. I posted on Facebook that I was going to be "more of a Yes Mom." Since I posted I think I've done OK.

We spent last week at the beach with Phil's family. I smelled like campfire smoke every day and brought half the beach home with us, but Tyler had a blast. Between the junk food, S'mores and candy he had more crap in a week than he's had in a month (probably longer).

Between Phil and I, Tyler has been to the park (many times), Disneyland, the zoo, three camps, our neighborhood pool (a LOT), the library and the book store (that's my boy!). There's been more TV, computer and Wii time and staying-up -until-11:30 reading time than I normally allow. I think we've given him a good summer. 

At the end of the day, when Tyler gets older he won't remember the exact things we've done for him, or the quantity of things we did. He will remember that we were there. When he looks back on the times he said, "today was the best day of my life!" we'll be woven into those memories. I don't want any of his best days tarnished by all the times we said 'no' to one of his requests.

When we got pregnant, we talked about not giving in, not letting our child control the house and drawing the line being being occasionally indulgent and spoiling. I think we've gotten so caught up in keeping Tyler grounded that we forget to let him have fun. 

Santee, Ca July 2010

I'm going to try harder to find the balance between giving him every little thing he asks for and keeping reasonable limits. I will continue to make him "earn" his treats but slip him a piece of candy once in awhile. I will bring a little more fun into our time together. I will make more muffins.

*I add a little vanilla and fresh berries to the mix so they could totally pass for homemade.

A Moment of Silence

American Flag of the United States of America (USA Flag)
Flickr set by jcolman

I watched the Today Show this morning and heard a statistic that July 2010 is officially the deadliest month for soldiers in Iraq since the war began 9 years ago. The newscaster read off the information as part of a news roundup. It took about 10 seconds, if that.

I know the war is a loaded topic. I know it's not a "feel good" way for people to start their day. I know it's not part of the growing trend of entertainment passing as hard news. But.

We are losing men and women every day. People who have voluntarily raised their hands and taken an oath to protect our country and our freedoms. Husbands, wives, mothers and fathers are getting the news that someone they love will be coming home in a flag covered coffin.

It's heartbreaking that Chelsea Clinton's wedding and Ellen leaving American Idol got more coverage (several minutes more) than the record setting deaths of our men and women in uniform.

As July comes to an end, please take a moment, offer a prayer or have a moment of silence for the brave men and women we've lost. We can show our military that though the news media doesn't think they're important, their fellow Americans do.

Awe: Wordless Wednesday

When I Was Your Age

Tyler: "Dad, did Webkinz exist when when you were a kid?"

Phil: "No. The internet didn't exist when I was a kid."

Tyler: [in a sad voice] "Oh. Sorry you lived in a time when technology wasn't so good."

10 Happy Things: A Meme

Mama Mary tagged me in a meme awhile ago. I'm to share with you 10 Things That Make Me Happy. It's hard for me to make lists like this because I change my mind all the time and I don't really have a "favorite" of anything. If you ask me to do this meme a week from now, heck even later today, my answers will probably be different. So, here (in almost no particular order) are 10 things that are making me happy right now.

1. Tyler

I know, I know. Putting my kid on the list is totally cliche. But. We've had a great summer. Last year at this time we were butting heads every day. I was yelling. He was oozing attitude. It was awful and we were both miserable. The first day back to school was arguably the third best day of my life (after my wedding day and his birth). This summer we're having fun. Though I can't say I'll be sad when school starts (routines are good) I'll miss him a little during the day.

2. My book stash

I love the library book store. It's my new addiction. With Tyler reading more and using his own library card, I don't need to justify stopping in. It's rare for me not to leave without at least one book, thus the piles of books I have all over. There are 25 titles in this pile*. Some are authors I've read, some are new to me and some are things I've meant to read (like Watership Down and Pride and Prejudice). I get giddy thinking of all the characters and story lines. So much promise*!

3. Peanut Butter

I went to the pool with Michele and her kids last week. I was telling her about my braces and how I'm usually hungry but eating is too much of a hassle. Peanut butter has been a lifesaver. I can eat a few spoonfuls right from the jar and feel satisfied. My neighbors, the personal trainers, were shaking their heads and lectured me on hydrogenated oils, sugar and whey protein. Whatever. Talk to me when you get braces, buff guy.

4. My new blanket

I love this! I stalked it at Z Gallerie and snapped it up when it went on clearance. It's a blanket that folds up to look like a purse. I wish you could feel it. It's so fuzzy soft like a baby blanket. When the weather cools off I'll be parked with it in front of our fixed after 3 years fireplace.

5. Ciao Bella Gelato

Lemon and lime are two of my favorite flavors. I was in the mood for something last week when Tyler and I were at the grocery store. I thought I'd get sherbert but the neon green packaging of this gelato caught my eye. Key Lime Graham gelato is pure genius. It's like a piece of frozen key lime pie. I can tell I'm going to have a long, healthy love hate relationship with Ciao Bella.

6. This coffee mug

It's from Starbucks. I saw it a few years ago around Christmastime and fell in love with it. But not enough to buy it for $15. I took a chance and waited until after the holiday. I had to go to two different stores but I got it for 75% off.

7. Chai lattes

I know these aren't new but they're new to me. When I'm at the coffee shop I order it as a grande, light water, non fat, 2 pump sugar free vanilla chai latte. I know. I annoy myself. But, I'm trying really hard to stay on a budget and stopping at Starbucks once a day isn't the way to do it. Enter Costco. I got this for about $9. I add a little microwaved milk and a splash of vanilla coffee creamer. Not quite the same but it keeps Phil from yelling at me. 

8. Shoes

I've shown you a little bit of my shoe collection before. Last week, I was trying on things for BlogHer and I had all these shoes spread out around me. All the different colors, textures and styles were so pretty to look at. It made me smile. I love my shoes.

9. My DSLR

I don't think I could have chosen a more expensive hobby to get into. But, I'm having a lot of fun learning the ins and out of my camera. I hope I'll be able to improve the quality of my pictures so they show talent and technical skill not just dumb luck.

10. Chocolate

Ice cream, cookies, with peanut butter (see above), in bar form, in baked goods, in a martini, as hot chocolate, S'Mores! White, milk, dark, melted over strawberries. There's almost no form of chocolate I don't like.

What's making you happy today?

*If you want to know the book titles let me know. See the other meme participants at Mama Mary's site.

I Say Wear the Shoes: BlogHer 2010

You may have heard there's a pretty big blog conference coming up in a few days. Blogs and Twitter are all aflutter with conference talk, especially with advice from the veterans to the newbies.

The general theme of the advice I've read seems to be: don't stress, bring business cards, be yourself, it's a conference not the red carpet and for the love of Pete wear comfortable shoes! For the most part, I agree with all of that. However, I think I'm going to be the lone voice of dissent on one thing.

I say wear the fun shoes.

Yes, this is a conference. Yes, we're there to learn. But we're also there to have fun! For me, clothes and shoes are fun! And hello? New York! Will anyone remember what I was wearing? No. Will anyone judge me on what I'm wearing or not wearing? Maybe. * Do I care? No. Because it's not about everybody else, it's about me and what's important for my conference experience. And for me, clothes, shoes and looking nice are important.

I wore these to Mom's Nite Out

I don't know about you, but when I think I look good, I feel good. If wearing a spectacular** pair of shoes (or dress, handbag, favorite necklace) will make you feel good, do it!

I see nothing wrong with wanting to put your best face (or foot) forward. In addition to meeting other bloggers for the first time, we have an opportunity to meet ad agency reps, PR reps and celebrities. If, like me, one of your goals for this conference (or any conference) is treating everyone you meet as a potential client or business partner, why wouldn't you want to look nice?

I know it's not a fashion show, but I'm not gonna lie***. I've been shopping and I love the things I've found. Part of the fun of getting ready has been planning my outfits. I don't get to play dress up very often so I'm taking full advantage at BlogHer.

For me it boils down to this: do what makes you happy, what you'll be comfortable with and what will help you make the most of what will be an amazing weekend.

If you're going, please say hi! I'll be the one in cute shoes.

*Anyone who does isn't worth knowing.

**Spectacular is not always synonymous with towering or spike-y. There are so many awesome flats, sandals and wedges for the summer! Style does not have to be a sacrifice to comfort.

***In my opinion, women dress for other women. Not all, but most.

Issues? I Have Plenty

Tyler hurt my feelings Tuesday night. It was inadvertent, but the comment has stayed with me. I was out of sorts and cranky all day yesterday and I think part of it was the residual sting (mostly it was perimenopause). We were watching TV together (I got him into Future Food and Cake Boss) and Jennifer Hudson's Weight Watchers commercial came on.

When the special promotion was announced (lose all the weight you want for $1, I think), Tyler turns to me and says, "you should do that, Mom."

"You think I need to lose weight?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"So you can look hot."

Whoa.

I know he wasn't being mean. I don't think he really knows what it means to look hot. But it stung, nonetheless. He can't possibly know about all my issues and hangups. At least I hope not.

One of the reasons I tell myself it's probably a good thing I don't have a little girl is because there's almost no way I wouldn't pass on all my body issues to her. My weight is a pretty big one. The Braces Diet is still working but the pants I wore at National Mom's Nite Out are a little snug. And I'm freaking out.

Losing weight has been a strange trip. A few weeks ago my neighbor said to me that I was starting to get a little puffy but now I'm looking really good. Um, thanks? I'm happy with my new size; the single digit in my pants, but I still feel I have a long way to go until I look like the "after" image I have of myself in my head.

I have this sick need to compare myself with other people. Usually it's in a crowded place like an amusement park or the mall. Someone will walk by and I wonder if my butt jiggles the way hers does or if I the shirt I'm wearing gives me back fat too. It's an awful thing to do. I fully admit that. I'm not judging, only comparing. I feel yucky doing it but can't seem to stop.

I wish I had a mirror that lets me see myself the way other people see me. So many people tell me now that I look great. I don't mind hearing it. Part of me likes the compliment. The other parts of me feel guilty for liking the compliments on something superficial and still another part of me feels guilty because I haven't had to work at losing the weight and I don't deserve the praise. Screwed up, much?

When I was leaving one of the media events at the Social Media Moms event at Disney this past February, I ran into Laura. I'd been keeping an eye out for her because I hadn't seen her since my first blogging trip to Disneyworld back in 2008. We were standing right next to each other. I said, "hello, nice to see you, I was wondering when I'd run into you!" and I could tell she had no idea who this person acting so familiar with her was. I had to take off my hat and say, "it's me! Melanie!" She honestly didn't recognize me and said my face was totally different than the last time she saw me.

At Blissdom, I know I totally hurt Casey's feelings. When we ran into each other she told me I look great and I responded with something like, "did I not look good before?" or something equally bitchy and uncalled for. Casey looked appropriately taken aback and I felt like a total shit. I'm so sorry, friend. I really didn't mean for it to come out that way. It wasn't you, it was me. Truly.

I'm a walking contradiction. I have a good self image. I know I'm a good person, a good mom, wife, daughter and friend. I'm loyal. I'm giving, sometimes to a fault. But my self image and self esteem are two different beasts. I like the person I am, I just don't always love the packaging. 

Posting pictures of myself here in my bathing suits (and naked) was so outside my comfort zone. I did it to force the issue with myself. I hoped the photos would give me the real picture. I would be able to look at them and say, "see? it's not so bad!" Yeah. That hasn't happened yet.

So when Tyler said I should join Weight Watchers I wanted to cry. I honestly don't think I look that different or that I've lost that much weight. But, to literally be unrecognizable to someone I know, the changes have to be really profound. I'm terrified I'm going to put the weight I've lost back on. It's shallow and superficial, but it's true. 

I feel horrible making an issue of it because I know some people really struggle with their weight. Someone else will look at me and wonder what I have to complain about. That makes feel awful. Logically, I know I should get over myself. But I'm nothing if not emotional. I told Tyler that people can be hot without losing weight. If only I could internalize that statement and make myself believe it.

Can You Stand It?!: Wordless Wednesday

May 2010

(taken with a Canon speedlight and a 28-135mm lens)

Yabba Dabba Doo!

I tell Tyler that he has Fred Flinstone feet because his toes are almost completely straight across. I think it's adorable and I'll be sad when he outgrows it.

Surf lesson at Tamarack, May 2010

This past weekend we went to the jacuzzi. As we were drying off to head home, he reached out one foot and nudged my flip flop until it was horizontal and easier for me to put on. It was such a small gesture, but so thoughtful and sweet. My heart exploded into a million little pieces.

Love those toes.

A Holiday I Totally Support

Today is Chocolate Day! On July 7, 1550, the joy that is chocolate landed in Europe and women everywhere rejoiced. 

What holiday can you get behind?

*I'm a little embarrassed right now. Especially since that's not my entire stash.

Redundancy: Wordless Wednesday

(On Tuesday!)

At Least I Can Laugh About It

World of Color premiere, Disneyland, June 2010

Scene: Mother and son are in the car after a trip to Payless, where, once again, they disagreed on what shoes the son should buy.

Mother: "I'm only trying to help you. I know a little bit about shoes. I'm trying to give you the benefit of my since I'm a little older than you and I've.."

Son: "A little?! I'm only 7. You're way older than me."

Mother: [laughing] "I don't if I would say 'way'. How about 'a little'?"

Son: "No, you're way older."

Ouch.

Smart and Final Extra, Revisited

I had an opportunity to shop at Smart and Final Extra a few days ago. I haven't been there in ages, mainly because we have a Costco membership and I didn't see a need to visit another 'big box' store. I'm pleasantly surprised with the changes they've made to attract 'regular' grocery shoppers. 

The fact that they own Henry's Marketplace, one of my favorite stores for produce, is a big plus for me. I can definitely see myself going there to take advantage of really good sale items. Their prices are in line with the stores I shop in now and fit with my goal of keeping our grocery budget in check.

More check-ins at Smart & Final Extra

Powered by Whrrl

What I liked about Smart and Final Extra:

1. They accept coupons!

2. You don't need a card for the in-store savings.

3. The prices are competitive.

4. The produce section offered a wide variety.

5. I can shop there 'normally' but also go in for the large sized items I'd typically buy if we're ever having a party (without the long lines!).

What I'd suggest as future changes:

1. Expand the store circular to include more of the Smart Savings items. It will make for more thorough coupon matching.

2. Expand their social media profile and start to work with frugal bloggers on a regular basis.

3. The website could be a lot more user friendly.

4. Printable coupons and a partnership with Cellfire.com.

5. E-coupons and/or mobile coupons that can be scanned straight from a smartphone.

6. Even though I could effectively plan a party and shop there, Costco still has a slight edge in that I can order a custom cake, the baked goods selection is huge and I can bring home a hot meal or heat and eat meal.

I forgot to ask Chris (who was super helpful) about their coupon policies. I'd like to know two things:

1. How they handle a coupon that is more than the cost of the item eg: if I have a $1 off coupon for a .99 item, will they adjust the coupon down to be .99 or will I get the penny overage?

2. Are shoppers allowed to use multiple coupons for the same item in one transaction eg: I buy 8 boxes of granola bars and have 8 coupons, will I have to make separate purchases? (some Target stores do this and it's a HUGE turnoff)

I'm really impressed with the changes I saw and will be following the progress to see what other ways Smart and Final Extra will be improving their stores. 

How about you? Have you shopped there recently? What did you think of the store and do you have any suggestions to add? 

*Thank you to Smart and Final Extra for the gift card used to make my purchases. I'm not being monetarily compensated for this post. The gift card did not influence my opinion of the store.

Phone Time with Terry Crews of Are We There Yet?

I've been incredibly fortunate to have some pretty amazing opportunities come my way through blogging. I've made new friends locally, met favorite bloggers face to face, attended some really great events, went to my first red carpet premiere and traveled more in the last 2 years than I have in my life. Now I can add phone chat with a TV and film actor to the list. 

It was a pretty typical day yesterday. The cat pooped on floor, the internet was down, I volunteered at Tyler's summer camp, did some laundry and dishes and then I got a call from my new BFF, Terry Crews, star of the TBS show Are We There Yet? You know, the usual stuff.

Are We There Yet? is about Nick (Terry) and his marriage to Suzanne (Essence Atkins) and how they manage their blended family. I asked Terry several questions but two things he said stuck with me through the day.

One of the main things Terry hopes the show does is offer a return of "the family hour." I thought about it and it's true. TV is pretty different now than when we were younger. I remember being able to watch The Cosby Show, Family Ties, Who's the Boss, Punky Brewster and Growing Pains with my parents before bedtime. Even the kinda lame shows like ALF and Small Wonder were things we could all watch together. I can't think of any network show that we've all watched together, and more importantly all enjoyed, since Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution.

L to R: Coy Stewart, Essence Atkins, Terry Crews, Teala Dunn 
of TBS's Are We There Yet?

I'm not anti-TV. I think there's a ton of great programming on TV. We've had a lot of good discussions about things we've watched together, they just happen to be mostly on cable. Network rating aren't what they used to be. Perhaps they should re-visit the shows of the 1980's and bring back that formula and create more content like Are We There Yet? and less CSI spinoffs.

The other thing that's stuck with me has actually been a little bit of a mind blow for me. When the PR team asked if I'd like to speak with Terry about blended families, I kept telling them I'm not part of a blended family and would feel more comfortable talking about the show in general. One thing Terry said to me was, "being a stepparent can be a thankless job."

At first I was thinking about friends and other family members, nodding remembering some of the situations they've been in, but this morning I had a lightning bolt moment. My dad has been remarried for years, yet I don't think I've ever referred to "Sally" as my stepmom. It sounds so simple when I type it out, but I really am weirded out right now. Maybe if '"Sally" had kids I would think differently. I'll have to ponder that.

No matter what quantifiers we use to describe our families: blended, biracial, adoptive etc., they all include the word family. Terry said he wants Are We There Yet? to be an example that no matter how it came to be, "you are a family," and at the end of the day, "good parents are good parents, and good kids are good kids."

(Bloopers from tonight's season finale)

Thank you to Terry for taking the time to chat with me! I wonder if Ice Cube (the show's producer and also star) gives Terry a hard time for playing for the SD Chargers since he's such a huge Raider fan? I'll have to ask him the next time he calls.

The season finale of Are We There Yet? airs tonight on TBS. Full episodes are available online at TBS.com and Hulu.com.

*I wouldn't be me if I didn't also say it's great to see a show with a predominantly black cast where the family is in a strong, healthy relationship!

Eeeeeekkkk!

I do not like spiders. I do not like spiders. I do not like spiders. 

This morning I asked Tyler for the gazillionth time to get his room straightened up so I can vacuum. His floors haven't been vacuumed in so long I bet the carpet will be several shades lighter when I'm finished. 

He straightened up for me but I try to remember to check for stray Lego pieces and Nerf darts under his bed before I start. God forbid I suck up a droid arm! I got down on my hands and knees to do a quick scan and almost freaked the hell out.

Giving these out in place of candy is so NOT cool!

I froze and my heart started beating really fast. If it had wiggled, even a little bit, I think I'd be calling a moving van right now.

Movie Night in the Burbs: Wordless Wednesday

Atreyu!!!

Frugal Gift Basket Idea for Teachers | Video Post

I made this video last week. In it, I share the end of year, beach-themed gift basket I put together for Tyler's teacher. 

I went to three places: Target, Bed, Bath and Beyond and my local library. I'm really happy with how it turned out, and the fact that I was able to stick so close to my set budget.  

See what I was able to do for under $25!

What did you give your kids' teacher?

Father's Day Gift Ideas for the Stumped

I generally use Father's Day as an opportunity to buy Phil the type of clothes I like to see him in. He doesn't care one iota about fashion so I can make him my own life-sized Ken doll. But if he doesn't need clothes, I'm usually at a loss. And forget about our father's. They're both so hard to shop for. 

We usually rely on the ole 'cute picture of the grandkid' standby if neither of us have an original idea. Here are a few things I've come across for those of you who get stumped the same way I do.

Kicked up cutting boards

I saw these at the International Housewares Show. They're from the Epicurean BBQ Series and I think they're pretty cool.

I love the silicone holders on the sides; one for a knife or tongs and the others for spices (or, more likely, a beer!).

BYOB flip flops

I bought Phil a pair of the Reef Dram sandals from Nordstrom Rack. They have a flask in the sole and come with a key and mini funnel.

The other style, the Reef Fanning, has a bottle opener in the sole. I don't imagine either are very airport friendly but they're really cute.

Magnetic bottle opener

I saw the Clink N Drink at the Oceanside Farmer's Market. It's a bottle opener attached to a really strong magnet. The bottle caps stick right to the surface and stay there until you empty it.

Brian has a lot of different skins for the openers like surf. I think he has more skin options in person than on the site but I haven't verified.

What are you giving for Father's Day? 

(I still need an idea for my Grandfather!) 

*I wasn't asked to write about or wad compensated for this post. The affiliate links are to Amazon.

AJ Wright Shopping Challenge: Bring It!

I first learned the term off price shopping when I went to Boston last year for the TJ Maxx/Marshalls event. A few weeks ago, I got an opportunity to learn a little more about it in the form of a shopping challenge. AJ Wright, another store under the TJX Group of stores, emailed and asked if I'd be willing to take a $100 shopping challenge at their new store in Norwalk. Me? Take a shopping challenge? Does the Pope wear Prada?! 

I decided to make a day of it and pulled Tyler out of school early. I dropped him off to spend the afternoon with my dad because we hadn't seen him since the holidays. The store didn't open to the public for another few days so we had it all to ourselves. We learned a bit about how AJ Wright is different from TJ Maxx and Marshalls, their commitment to the communities where they open stores and their model search contests, and then they let us loose.

Armed with $100 and 2 hours to spend it wisely, I went all over the store. AJ Wright has the same departments as TJ Maxx and Marshalls so I was able to look at bedding, bath items and kitchen stuff. I decided to be selfish and stick with clothes and shoes for me.

I did really well. I bought 4 tops, one skirt, one pair of shoes, 2 Star Wars guys for Tyler and a shirt for Phil (Happy Father's Day!) and only went slightly over budget.

I asked if the stores will have better seasonal selections. One thing many of us said at the TJ Maxx/Marshalls event was that those of us in warm climates get frustrated when the sweaters and jackets start showing up in August. AJ Wright has fewer stores to buy for and can tailor the selections a little better for the market the store is in. I should have asked if there will be A and B stores the same as TJ Maxx and Marshalls.

AJ Wright is compared to Old Navy in terms of where it fits in to the TJX group of stores. I can definitely see that as true. The prices at AJ Wright were lower than TJ Maxx/Marshalls (which is hard to do!) but I could tell the quality on some items isn't the same and there weren't as many designer labels as I can find at TJ Maxx or Marshalls (though there were designer names in many of the departments).

At the event with me:

Mary of The Recessionista

Amanda of Mommy Mandy

Ashley of  Me and My 3 Kids

Caryn of Rockin' Mama

Elizabeth of Traded My BMW for a Minivan

Kari of A Giveaway Addicted Mommy

Thank you to AJ Wright and SBC Advertising for such a fun afternoon!

You can see the rest of my photos on Flickr.

*AJ Wright gave me $100 to spend in the store as well as transportation to and from my father's house.

Book Review: Delivering Happiness by Zappos CEO Tony Hsieh

Delivering Happiness

Of the many pairs of shoes I own, I know exactly which ones came from Zappos. Before I was laid off, the site was my p0rn. I would sit on my lunch break and page through the sections looking for my next purchase. I don't go to the site nearly as often nowadays. It's too torturous. But, I appreciate their service and I'm sure I'll take advantage of my VIP status at some point.

I signed up to receive an advance copy of CEO Tony Hsieh's book Delivering Happiness mostly because of my obsession interest in shoes but also because of a piece I read in Inc. Magazine* about Zappos and it's company culture and curiosity about one of the greatest ecommerce success stories of all time.

Even though I'm not a business person or entrepreneur I still really enjoyed the book. Hsieh has a really casual writing style, more like story telling. The beginning section had me laughing with his early attempts at building his fortune. At age nine I was still playing with Barbies and he was setting up his first business.

What I like about the book:
*That he wrote it himself, no ghostwriters.
*The emphasis on money and profits being happy byproducts, not the main goals
*The theme of finding one's passion is all throughout the book, not just in the title. It's not marketing, it's what he really believes. 

What I didn't like about the book:
*The section about the development of the Core Values lost me a little. I like that Hsieh uses emails and stories from other employees to illustrate the values but with 10 of them, it got to be a little much (though the transcript on page 166 of a live chat between a customer and  Zappos employee Jonathan is hilarious!).
*I really would have liked a few pictures. With all the emphasis on the importance of the culture, photographic examples would have been fun. 

Inc. Magazine** hosted a live chat with Hsieh this morning. I submitted two questions and both were answered! (I screwed up my screen shot, boo!) I'm paraphrasing Tony's answers:

Q: You found your passion early in life, what advice would you give to late bloomers?
A: "Try a little bit of everything."

I'm enjoying blogging a lot more than I was at the end of last year. It's giving me new perspective. While I can't say I've found my passion, but I definitely feel being part of this community and social media scene has opened so many doors, given an outlet to my creativity and inspired so many ideas that it's just a matter of time.

Q: Do you thin Zappos will be using brand ambassadors as so many companies seem to be doing lately?
A: "I'm not sure what other companies are doing, but at Zappos we'd like to think our loyal customers are our brand ambassadors."

I asked this because it seems that all of the Zappos social media comes from inside the company. The employees are the ones to blog, Tweet, and Facebook. It would be interesting to hear how an "outsider" would report about the company.

As part of my review, I got a second copy to give away. To keep it easy for myself I'm holding the giveaway on Twitter (family in town this week).

1. If you'd like a copy Tweet out something with #ZapposDHBook in it. I need the hashtag to track the responses. If you're not on Twitter but think you'd like to read it, leave a comment below and I'll see what I can do (no promises though). Follow @dhbook to read the other reviews and enter other giveaways.
2. The contest will close this Friday June 11th at midnight CA time. Any Tweets after that won't count.
3. I'll send the winner a Tweet letting them know they've won. If I get no response by Sunday night I'll choose another winner. Good luck!

All in all I really enjoyed Delivering Happiness. I don't often read business books like this but I can see myself looking into some of the titles Hsieh makes available to the staff in the Zappos library. Lessons about doing what you love, looking beyond profit (or a paycheck) and being passionate translate into all areas of life, not just business.

*Not the piece in the current issue, this was some time ago.
**This sounds like I'm pimping Inc. but I'm not. I just really enjoy the magazine.

I received both copies of the book from Zappos as part of their blogger review program. I didn't get anything for it other than a good read. Book cover image from Amazon.

Vons Deals: My Awesome Shopping Trip

I had a fabulous trip to Vons today! I so appreciate all the hard work the frugal bloggers do. I've saved so much money since I started really focusing on cutting our grocery bills. If you'd like to start but feel intimidated, finding a site that gives offers for what's available locally to you is a great way to start. Kerri from Save at Home Mommy has been my go-to for So Cal stores.

We have friends coming into town next week and school is out soon, so I've been stocking up on snacks and kid drinks. I wasn't planning on heading to Vons but the in store promotions coupled with the available coupons were just too good to pass up, especially the Buy 8 Save $4.

This is my shopping trip:

10 SoBe's*

2 Cheerios*

1 Lucky Charms*

3 Coffee Mate creamers (major score)

4 Mac N Cheese (braces friendly)*

3 Crescent Rolls*

6 Yoplait

2 Chex Mix* (might have been free)

1 pretzels

1 Ritz Crackerfuls*

2 milk

4 Odwalla smoothies* (also a major score)

3 Lunchables (do not overlook the manager's specials sections of the store, these were .88 each)

1 half dozen eggs

43 items

Total: $90.13

Paid: $37.20

Savings: $52.93
(*Buy 8, Get $4)

The way Tyler is eating lately, this will all be gone before school is out!

What have you scored on lately?

My Latest Toy: Wordless Wednesday

A 75-300.  Can't wait to figure this baby out.

Children's Etiquette: How Should Kids Address Adults

I have Tyler call our adult friends Mr. Joe or Mr. Jane. We talked about this when I was pregnant and decided it was respectful and appropriate. In my mind, children shouldn't always be treated as little adults with the same rights and privileges, e.g. being able to call an adult by their first name.

I've had friends tell Tyler, "oh, you can call me Jane," and I have to step in and say this is what we've asked him to do and it's either he calls them Miss Jane or Mrs. Smith (or Ma'am). I would think this would convey to my friends that this important to us and to respond in kind. But that doesn't happen.

I don't want to correct other people's children. That's touchy and walking the line of discipline. It also makes it seem as though I'm telling them how to parent and/or their children have no manners. Also touchy.

So, my question for you is: should I let it go? 

How do you have other people's children address you? 

How do your children address adults?

Tony Hawk at A Sporting Life: Wordless Wednesday

Tony Hawk, Pierre Gagnon, Andy Macdonald, Simon Tabron, Jesse Fritch, Neal Hendrix and Kevin Staab

I have more pictures from the A Sporting Life event on Flickr.

Aw, Shucks It Was Nothing

Remember my expiring coupons? I got this note yesterday. It made me smile and I had to share:

Melanie-

Thank you so very much for the coupons! I invited two friends over last night and the three of us sorted, clipped and organized coupons for several hours! We all filled our binders full and there are still TONS left. Today I dropped off the rest of the box to the library on post [base] so that other families can share them. You have no idea how many families you have helped - we really appreciate it! My husband couldn't believe it when he realized the box wasn't from a relative but a "stranger." :D Thanks again!

-ML

I sent the box right before Mother's Day. I was in a hurry and didn't remember to take a picture of the stack of coupon inserts before I took it to mail, but the woman at the post office said the box weighed a little over 14 pounds! I wanted it to be a surprise and didn't tell ML it was coming. She sent me two books of stamps which is so darn cute. It's very true that every little bit helps. One small gesture on your end can make a big impact on someone else. Pay it forward when you can.

Thank you to the men and women in our armed services and 
their families!

Fun with Email: The Naughty Edition

From: PSheridan

To: MSheridan

Subject: What's up with that?!

Date: May 18, 2010

So I heard on the radio this morning that Jada Pickett Smith likes to send some nice photos to her husband Will every now and then. How come you never do that for me?

From: MSheridan

To: PSheridan

Subject: Re: What's up with that?!

Date: May 18, 2010

You're at an office, not your personal trailer on a movie set. And why don't you do the same for ME?

From: PSheridan

To: MSheridan

Subject: Re: Re: What's up with that?!

Date: May 18, 2010

Please. You don't want me to send you pics. And my cubicle is super private thank you very much. How else do you think I can do jigsaw puzzles at work :)

From: MSheridan

To: PSheridan

Subject: Re: Re: Re: What's up with that?!

Date: May 18, 2010

I wouldn't ask if I didn't want one.

I left the house to run errands right after I sent that. I did not think he'd take me up on it! Needless to say when I got home and opened my email again I was floored. And then I laughed my ass off. I'll have to repay the favor soon I'm sure. Hopefully Casey is open to working her Photoshop magic again.

This is probably one of the sweetest things Phil has ever done. Not because I wanted a photo of my husband's junk. Man parts aren't remotely sexy. It's sweet because I know it had to be a little weird and awkward for him to do but he did it anyway to make me smile. I appreciate that. 

We try hard to have fun and keep each other on our toes. That's important in a relationship; to never stop trying. While a somewhat blurry cell phone shot of my husband's goods doesn't get my juices flowing, a man who can still make me giggle after almost 12 years of marriage? That's sexy. 

Review: Sonicare for Kids Rechargeable Toothbrush

*Update 9/3/10 I've added a few more places to buy the brush and replacement heads along with coupon and deals info at the bottom of the post.

Sonicare has come out with a line of toothbrushes specifically for kids. We got it for Tyler to help with the morning and nighttime battles over getting him to brush his teeth at all, let alone thoroughly and for the required two minutes. Tyler was using our old Sonicare but he likes this better. He said the Sonicare for Kids is not as rough on his gums as the adult brush and the bristles are "less prickly."

Here are the things I like:

*The escalating tone the brush makes. When it's time to switch to another area of the mouth, the toothbrush beeps. The beeps get louder as the 2-minute countdown gets closer to the end. I can hear the beeps from upstairs so I know that Tyler is brushing and I know he's brushing the full two minutes because of the tones.

*The smaller brush head. I didn't think having an adult sized head would be a problem, but it makes sense since he doesn't have an adult sized mouth.

*The base is easy to clean. There are three pegs on the base, one for the toohbrush handle and two for the heads. The shape of the base is easy to wipe off, much easier than the adult Sonicare we have.

What I don't like:

*The cost of the replacement brush heads. They're not cheap at $22 for four. If you have a larger family the yearly costs will add up. But, I've used coupons from the Sunday paper for our adult brush, I've seen Sonicare coupons on Coupon Carryout ($5 off replacement heads is a great savings) and if you have any $10 off $30 from Bed, Bath and Beyond that would be a good place to check too. Still, the cost is better than dental treatments.

The Sonicare for Kids and the replacement brush heads are available online at:
Amazon.com 
Drugstore.com/Beauty.com (Shop through EBates.com and earn 6% cash back at either site! Go to Ebates and search for Sonicare)
Target.com

You can purchase in store at Bed, Bath and Beyond, WalMart and Target. There's a $10 coupon on page 142 of the June issue of All You magazine. Check with your dentist's office for a possible $5 rebate. Our office had the rebate forms at post time.

This is a a sponsored post. I wrote this review while participating in a blog tour campaign by Mom Central on behalf of Sonicare and received a free Sonicare For Kids toothbrush to facilitate my review. The opinions are all me. Some links are affiliate links. Photo credit.

Mom Guilt Stinks

I've been feeling Mom Guilt since the moment I found out I was pregnant. Gasp! I had a few cocktails! What if something happens?! It's gotten progressively worse over the years. Even though I know it's a useless and wasted emotion, I carry it around with me like a favorite accessory.

I pushed for three hours and Tyler came out looking like a tiny prize fighter. Guilt. 

I had to go back to work when Tyler was only 3 months old. Guilt.

We started Tyler in Kindergarten at age 4. Guilt.

I try not to let parenting issues get me down, but I'm a worrier and I beat myself up over just about everything. It doesn't matter that Tyler is his own person, that he understand the basics of right and wrong and is mostly capable of making his own decisions. If he acts like a brat in public, people aren't wondering what his problem is, they're looking at right at me. 

The latest monkey on my back is Tyler's teeth. It seems he's inherited mine which resemble mini mountain ranges with steep peaks and valleys. The result? Four cavities and the makings of a new one. Guilt. 

I'm not sure what Tyler has against taking care of his teeth (and basic hygiene in general). We started fighting about it, meaning I'd yell at him for not doing it correctly and he'd whine that the toothpaste was too spicy and why can't he go back to the bubble gum flavored kind?! 

I found out that first, Tyler wasn't brushing at all, then he'd brush, but with no toothpaste! I resorted to doing random plaque checks, sneaking up on him when he's in the bathroom, putting the toothpaste in a specific position after he'd gone to bed and checking to make sure the toothbrush bristles were wet before we left for school. I had the dentist talk to him, showed him scary pictures of tooth decay and threatened to make him pay for any future cavities. The kid just wasn't getting it and I was ready to lay the ultimate smackdown.

As a last, last resort we got him a new toothbrush, the Sonicare for Kids. It seems to be working. We gave Tyler our old Sonicare when we got new ones, but I think the adult size head was part of the problem. He's brushing without fuss, with toothpaste, and seems to be more thorough. I'm happy that I can stop pulling my hair out and turning our mornings and nights into screaming matches. 

Photo from here

Now, if only I can find a way to get him to brush his hair and not leave the house looking like Crabman from My Name is Earl. Guilt. 

*We received a Sonicare for Kids from Mom Central. The opinions are mine, as is the guilt over not having this post up in time (despite the reminders) because I spent the last two days shopping, visiting with family and spa-ing with friends. Read my full Sonicare for Kids review.

How I Spent My Mother's Day Eve: Wordless Wednesday

Not pictured: The daiquiri machine to my left. Yum.

If You Give A Mom A Mojito

If I win the lottery I'm going to go into business with my mom. We both love to entertain, bake, cook and play hostess. Party planning and events are up our collective alley's. Spending someone else's money on good food and drinks? Yes, please!

Even though it was touch and go in the beginning, I had a lot more fun putting together this year's Mom's Nite Out than last year, mostly because I knew what to expect. I also decided not to stress (as much) and if things came together, awesome, if not, I tried. It's gratifying when hard work pays off. To hear people say they had a good time, that feels good. When people are still talking days later, that feels really good.

 Me, Jenn, Jen, Ali's laptop, Cathy, Natalie and Sondra

More pics on Flickr

I met new people, which I love to do, connected other people, which I also love to do and got to hang out with friends. Love to do that too. I'm sensing a pattern...

The view from the Porto Vista rooftop deck was awesome, the food was great, the staff and service were impeccable. Everyone enjoyed the raffle items and the prizes, the gift bags were a huge hit and I got wear killer shoes. I couldn't have asked for more.

Thank you again to all the sponsors!